SOCIETY/SEX

Britney Spears Still Needs Daddy!

2010-10-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

We give Britney credit for trying to keep her nether-region covered the last few weeks, her hair combed most days and her passable fashion selections of late, but apparently, it was not enough to fool the law.

Britney is still bringing the crazy and in search of her medulla oblongata!

Her personal and business affairs will remain under the control of her father and an attorney, who have been her conservators since early 2008 when her life was spinning out of control, a judge ruled on Thursday.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Reva Goetz met with Spears in court chambers and soon after made the ruling that left Jamie Spears and attorney Andrew Wallet in charge of the "Circus" singer's affairs.

The pair took control of the 28-year-old singer's legal and other issues following several events in 2007 that indicated her life was spiraling downward. She spent some time in drug and alcohol rehab and early in 2008 was hospitalized for psychiatric observation.

Now if we could just get Lohan in a similar sitch. But her parents are probably worse than her!

Bristol Palin: Nacho F*cking Business!

2010-10-01T01:32:00.000-07:00

The fact that this story involves nachos should already let you know it is wrong. Because do Bristol's thighs really need any further abuse?

We didn't think so either.

Any-cellulite-at-such-a-young-age-way, the most famous teen fuckup (sorry, Ali Lohan) in America was spotted somewhere she shouldn't be recently. And we don't mean the free clinic.

An Alaska state investigator is reportedly looking into a "Dancing with the Stars" segment that 19-year-old Bristol taped inside Rumrunner's Old Towne Bar and Grill on Thursday.

But a source says, "the place is also a restaurant ... so under 21 is allowed under Alaska law if accompanied by a person over 21, which she was." Bristol was with her partner Mark Ballas during the segment -- and he's 24.

And here's the rub -- our source is adamant, "Bristol had nachos only."

So far, the Alaska Department of Public Safety has no official comment on the situation. But we don't need them to comment because we always have more than enough to say.

What is Bristol Palin doing in a bar in ALASKA with her dance partner? Isn't this how she got her first baby thing int he first place?!

Some tricks just never learn!

It's Cheaper To Keep Her. But Her?

2010-10-01T01:21:00.000-07:00

If it's cheaper to keep her, the question we have here at Society/Sex is:

How expensive can this ho be?!

Because no amount of extensive plastic surgery for melon-sized titty balls, whittled down nose, shaved off nose, tummy tucks, facial nips and slaps...could ever class up such a skanky ass broad.

But apparently, her married piece wants to keep this and try to salvage what is left of their relationship.

And her Mattel-approved body.

Montag filed for divorce back in July -- citing irreconcilable differences.

But now, after the two reunited in Costa Rica to deal with a sex tape scandal -- it seems Heidi is once again on board with the whole "'til death do us part" thing.

Because nothing says love like a sex tape for the masses to see!

Mel Better Get a Vasectomy

2010-10-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

In a victory for gold diggers worldwide, Mel Gibson's former piece Oksana Grigorieva just nabbed $15,000 more a month, because the judge in her child custody case has increased her child support.

So Society/Sex has a question that must be answered:

Just how many Pamper Pull-Ups does a toddler need?!

Judge Scott Gordon issued an order Thursday afternoon, upping Mel Gibson's child support payment from $5,000 to $20,000 a month.

We've learned Oksana's lawyers had asked the judge to increase the award to $60,000 a month.

Now we suspect that Oksana just might be a gold-digger of sorts and she should definitely get several checks after going through such an ordeal with Mel Gibson, but this is a bit ridiculous. This is gouging!

Are her titty balls not producing sufficient enough breast milk anymore or has the silicone tainted them forever?

Watch for that baby to be sporting diamond tiaras any minute now!

Janet Is A Puma

2010-10-01T00:47:00.000-07:00

Janet's got a new man, and this one is very not black and very not poor.

Who says the recession is being bad to everyone?!

Janet Jackson and boyfriend Wissam Al Mana hit the streets of Paris rockin’ matching all black everything. The couple had lunch at The Avenue restaurant before heading to Balmain for some shopping.

This is definitely a step up (literally and figuratively) from that three apples high gnome-Gremlin hybrid she let suck/poke/caress her lady parts for so long. Yes, heauxz! We are talking about Jermaine Dupri! Just because he makes hits doesn't mean you should let him hit it. A true heaux has standards and we must admit that Janet fell off her game a bit. But now she's back with more bang for her buck, for...

Her new boyfriend is a billionaire and is several years her junior, so now it is official...

Janet is a cougar. But we shall take it one step further because that is what you expect from us! So here we go:

Are black women that prey on young men called pumas?

Halle Berry, Vivica Fox, to name a couple. And wait a minute. Is our nation's President also a cougar? How old is Michelle Obama? We're gonna have to investigate that!

We here at Society/Sex have just coined the phrase and we are anxiously awaiting our check, dammit!

From The Pulpit to the Dark Room

2010-09-30T01:22:00.000-07:00

THis is why we don't go to church. But maybe we should convert?!

As Bishop Eddie “Dong” continues to play “David” about the “Goliath” allegations against him, that giant just seems to grow larger as more evidence is added to the already huge pile.

A new set of pictures has surfaced showing Long with members of the Longfellows Youth Academy in his office. Also, do you notice anything suspect about the photos on Bishop’s desk?

The shots were reportedly taken at Bishop Long’s midtown Atlanta office. He also allegedly owns a midtown Atlanta penthouse, the source of more damning evidence.

Note: none of the three men in the picture above are defendants in any of the four civil suits currently pending against Shady Eddie.

HipHopBlog.com’s sources have revealed that there is a million dollar penthouse in the city’s midtown district that is allegedly owned by the famous mega-church reverend.

The source at the posh Twelve Atlantic Station cites several employees and residents that have noted that Long’s visitors at said location have predominantly been young men.

No wonder the good Bishop didn’t flat out deny anything.

Oksana & Oprah

2010-09-30T01:13:00.000-07:00

Oprah has landed Oksana.

If Mel had gotten with THIS Oksana, he probably wouldn't be in such dire straits. Oksana Biaul wouldn't mind Mel ranting and raving about black people, Asians, and gays...as long as he kept the liquor flowing!

But we here at Society/Sex digress...

A source tells UsMagazine.com that Mel Gibson's ex, Russian singer Oksana Grigorieva, will sit down with the daytime diva to talk about her rocky relationship with the 54-year-old actor, with whom she has a baby daughter, Lucia.

Winfrey, 56, had been battling "60 Minutes" for the sought-after sit-down.

A rep for Harpo, Winfrey's production company, told Us it was not ready to make any announcement at this time.

Set your DVRs, heauxz!

This Is When You Cut The Balls OFF!

2010-09-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

Look at this photo good and hard. Learn it to heart. If you should ever see this man coming towards you in a club, don't give him none, cuz he cannot afford the nearly two dozen chirrenz he already has!

“In my entire career I have never seen a case like this where so much was owed to so many and ignored,” Kent County Judge Dennis Leiber, who has presided over support cases for more than 20 years, told ABC News.

The Michigan man accumulated a debt of more than $533,000 in child support payments, according to court records. Veal has allegedly failed to support his children beyond a few meager payments. “You are the poster child for irresponsibility,” Leiber told Veal at a court hearing, according to The Grand Rapids Press. “You’re an insult to every responsible father who sacrifices to provide for their children.”

In the last seven years, Veal reportedly paid less than a total of $90 for two of his children’s upkeep. In July, Veal pled guilty to failure to pay child support to Sherri Black for his children aged 16 and 11 years old. Of the more than $63,000 owed to Black, the Muskegon High School graduate was asked earlier this year to pay 10 to 100 percent of the child support owed for reduced charges. By late August, Veal had paid nothing.

Black, the mother of two of Veal’s children, wrote in a letter that it’s heartbreaking to choose between shoes and rent.

With a checkered employment history, the 44-year-old Veal has been living with his current girlfriend, who is the mother of four of his children.

During a presentencing investigation, Veal disclosed he fathered 15 children with a total of 12 women but said he could not remember them all.

Findings by a more comprehensive report ordered by the court alleged Veal fathered 23 children by 14 different women. Children that Veal has also allegedly failed to support.

Michigan Assistant Attorney General Mitchell Wood wrote the judge to seek sentencing beyond the guidelines: “The Attorney General’s Child Support Division has prosecuted thousands of felony nonsupport cases since its inception, but none as outrageous as this. For a decade, between 1989 and 1999, the defendant impregnated at least one woman every single year.”

After hearing the facts about the case, the judge said he deviated from sentencing guidelines for substantial and compelling reasons. The guidelines called for no more than six months in jail.

“When you create a human being, I think you have a fundamental responsibility to provide for that child with necessities like food, clothing and shelter,” says Judge Leiber. “Those were the thoughts running through my mind when I saw a man that was spectacularly irresponsible.”

Veal says he’s been out of work and pays what he can. At least 14 additional child support cases are pending against him.

Do you think other deadbeat dads will learn something from this precedent setting decision, or is the judge only wasting taxpayer money by putting this man behind bars, where he won’t be able to earn money to pay child support anyway?

Shouldn’t have somebody told this guy about something called a VASECTOMY a long time ago??? This ni**a was getting it in raw doggy and skeeting away freely for a decade straight!!!

The next time you have sex, you better protect your panty pudding!

RIP, Giraldo

2010-09-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

Comedian Greg Giraldo — well-known for his work on such programs as Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil, several Comedy Central roasts, and NBC’s Last Comic Standing — has passed away. Both Comedy Central and NBC confirmed the comedian died Wednesday in a New Brunswick, N.J., hospital, just days after being hospitalized, reportedly for a prescription pill overdose.

This afternoon, Comedy Central released the following statement: “The tragic news of Greg’s passing hits us very, very hard. Greg has been a close member of the Comedy Central family for years, injecting his energy and wicked sense of humor into countless projects. The comedy community lost a brother today. Our thoughts are with his family.”

Beyonce Returns (Did She Ever Leave?!)

2010-09-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

Once again proving that some tricks just can't stay off the corner for long, Beyonce is allegedly about to drop another bundle of sonic joy on our collective ears any second now.

The pop diva's been in the studio with everyone's favorite swearing songwriter, The-Dream, and according to a tweet from fellow producer Los Da Mystro who's collaborated with The-Dream, a new record will be surfacing soon.

At least some of you are excited.

And we here at Society/Sex love Beyonce. Really, we do. But we are waiting patiently for Jay to knock her up so she can at least be gone long enough to give birth.

Or is she gonna produce an album in the maternity ward too?!

Jermaine Jackson is Broke...Again

2010-09-28T01:24:00.000-07:00

In news that will shock NO ONE, Jermaine Jackson says he’s hit financial hard times like everyone else in this economic recession and now he can't afford to take care of his two youngest sons.

Jackson filed new child support papers in L.A. County Superior Court claiming he cannot afford $3,000 a month payments for sons Jermajesty and Jaafar. Jermaine says that his average monthly income for last year was less than $1,100 and is asking the judge to reduce his monthly child support payments to $215 a month, because he says his current businesses have floundered.

What the fuck?! Jermaine spends more than that on Jheri curl juice! He is probably getting used left and right by his own children for their God-awful names. And if he can afford $215 a month, then he is making more than $1,100 this year, right? Math must not be a strong suit either.

But VIBE spoke with Jackson just days before his filing, and there were no signs of money problems. In fact, Jackson was in rehearsals to mount his second Jackson tribute concert this year at Las Vegas’ Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino on October 2nd. Jermaine is currently employing an eighteen-piece band for the gig, which includes six background dancers. This past spring, Jackson’s completed a similar-type tribute show, his first, which took place Gambia, West Africa.

So if Jackson got paid for his Gambia show and will undoubtedly get paid for his upcoming Las Vegas concert, where do these shows leave him financially? Where is the money? And what do you believe?

I believe there will be another Jackson lawsuit in 3, 2....

Flashback Fuckery

2010-09-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

If you cannot see who that is way in the back in the above photo, then we here at Society/Sex have done out job well. For that yellow thing in the background is 1/4th of one of the 90s biggest R&B groups, rapper T.I.'s side piece for over a decade and now newly minted wifey in crime Tiny Cottle.

Xscape was the first girl group on Jermaine Dupri's label, meant to be the answer to the suave, sophisticated EnVogue. And they certainly were ghetto. All of them had a slight hood glimmer in their eyes. But they could also sing.

But their biggest claim to fame was proving that not all light-skinned black girls were pretty. If you want to see Tiny up close, you will just have to go to another website. We try to protect our readers as much as possible!

Pussycat Dolls: The Meow Mix

2010-09-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

The fur is flying, the claws are coming out, and the hisses are reaching audible levels now that the Pussycat Dolls, the multi-platinum all-female group, has disbanded. One of the girls in the group, Melanie Thornton, is about to release her own album. And she is also about to let the world know that Nicole Scherzinger was not the only one in the group that could sing.

In a recent interview, Melody was asked if she would ever be in a group again or reunite with PCD:

"If I could avoid groups altogether, that would be fantastic. Because a lot of times, somebody’s in a bad mood and I can’t help but take that personally because it’s like, 'What the fuck was that?' Just the whole group setting is a nightmare."

On the rumors that she's dating Kanye West:

"I adore him. I do. I think he’s in the industry for the right reasons. I think he’s adorable, and I admire him for being in the industry for the right reasons. He’s always made music that you can relate to."

And in an apparent stab at Nicole Scherzinger, Melody says...

"I don't need to be dancing with no stars. It's not necessary for me!"

*meow*

Expect Octagenarian Lawsuits Any Second Now

2010-09-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

Once again proving that she has little respect for life, Gaga made another faux pas recently.

Last week, Lady Gaga dressed as dominatrix — complete with sky-high platform heels — while visiting a nursing home with her family and beau Luc Carl in New Jersey.

Just imagine the scene there. Pacemakers went off, old grannies grabbed their canes and the gay nurses took more photos than the paparazzi when she stormed in.

And this is probably exactly what the singer wanted.

"When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl," the singer (real name: Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) recently told Rolling Stone magazine. "Then I say, 'B----, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.'"

Where we come from, anyone that dresses like that is headed for a corner and people are driving by with their windows down and tongues out...

On purpose.

Hilton Receives a Check By Keeping Her Clothes On

2010-09-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

We here at Society/Sex will sashay down the meth lane from one crackhead to another!

Paris Hilton will be getting a little something in the mail from Hallmark this year.

And no, it's not penicillin.

The socialite has settled a lawsuit against the company over a greeting card that featured a scene seemingly ripped from her old reality show "The Simple Life." The caption read "Paris's First Day as a Waitress" and made a pun on her trademarked catch phrase, "That's Hot." In 2007, Hilton sued, claiming her publicity rights had been violated.

Last week, attorneys for Hilton and Hallmark advised a California judge that they had reached a settlement. A confidentiality provision limits the release of exact terms, but it's believed Hilton walked away with a favorable package.

When the heiress filed suit in 2007, Hallmark struck back with a free-speech defense.

The case made its way up to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which handed Hilton a huge legal victory last year, as well as wasting taxpayers precious money. The appeals court rejected Hallmark's protected-speech argument and raised doubts that the greeting card was "transformative" expression. The case was remanded back to a lower court.

Since then, the two sides have been preparing for a December trial. Evidence was being collected to ascertain the commercial value of Hilton's endorsement.

Now, pending a judge's blessing, the case is over.

Hilton's name will be stamped in law review articles discussing the tricky balance between publicity rights and the First Amendment — but we may never know exactly what Hilton's publicity is really worth.

But true heauxz know that when Hilton screams "That's hot", she could be speaking on many things: her crotch, the crackpipe in her hand, or the knock-off Fendi bag she'll be claiming is NOT HERS when the police pull her over and empty the contents!

Lohan To Enter Rehab for the 978,433,286th Time

2010-09-27T05:18:00.000-07:00

You mean to tell us that's NOT Lindsay Lohan in the above photo? We're getting our celebrity crackheads mixed up these days, as there are so many. Forgive us!

You know the old adage:

When the going gets rough, the rough grab a crackpipe, say "fuck it" and flee to a rehab!

Following her release from Lynnwood jail on $300,000 bail late Friday night, Lindsay Lohan is reportedly getting “serious about her recovery,” according to People.

Because who wants to get serious for more pennies on the dollar? It takes over half a million dollars to wake up tricks of a certain pedigree!

According to the mag, a source claims that the troubled starlet plans to voluntarily check herself back into a rehab center, saying, “She will step up her treatment and do more than what she was previously ordered to do.”

Additionally, TMZ claims to have a source who says Lohan will check herself into an inpatient rehab center outside of Los Angeles “within days.”

The site also reports that Lohan’s mother, Dina, as well as the star’s business manager, Lou Taylor, are involved in the rehab planning.

And with a mama like Dina at your side, there's nowhere to go but high.

We mean UP.

As in higher than NASA!

Naomi Vs. Tyra?

2009-12-09T02:23:00.001-08:00

Is Naomi the Next Tyra?

Attention aspiring models/abusive women/cell phone aficionados across the pond!

Supermodel (and train wreck) Naomi Campbell is in talks to host a British version of America’s Next Top Model.

“Naomi has been approached with an offer, which we are talking are...discussing... but nothing is set in stone yet,” Campbell’s spokesperson told the Daily Mail. If Campbell does sign on for the show, she'll give the reigning supermodel-turned-model scout, Tyra Banks, some competition—now that’s a runway walk-off we’d like to watch!

We'd love love love to see this.

Just think of sweeps when Naomi snatches off her wig, grabs her cell phone, and beats down an aspiring model?

Sign us the fuck UP!

Victoria Principal Is Headed to Space

2009-12-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

Former Dallas star Victoria Principal has signed up to take a ride in the world's first commercial passenger spacecraft, the VSS Enterprise, which was unveiled Monday in the Mojave Desert by space pioneers Sir Richard Branson and Burt Rutan.

"Going into space fulfills many desires I have of seeing the planet, going fast, going someplace very few people have been – and hopefully coming back down!" Principal tells PEOPLE.

The actress, who is also a skin-care magnate and an amateur race car driver, says space travel has always been her fantasy.

She forgot to mention that in space your face stops moving. Anything to maintain that plastic surgery!

Nic Cage Is Gonna Be Broker Than Broke

2009-12-09T02:14:00.001-08:00

Nicolas Cage's financial and legal nightmare continues to grow.

He should have stay married to that first piece and not left her for Mulan's stunt double.

Christina Fulton, mother of Cage's eldest child Weston, 18, is suing the actor for fraud and breach of contract, alleging she's been caught in the web of his financial mismanagement and is now more than $1.2 million in debt herself, Los Angeles court papers show.

Cage stated in an October lawsuit he faces financial ruin after allegedly being duped by a former accountant, Samuel Levin. The actor currently owes $6.3 million in back taxes, recently defaulted on a $2 million loan, and has begun a massive sell-off of homes, cars, yachts and other possessions to recoup his losses.

Jay-Z & The Big 4-0!

2009-12-09T02:07:00.000-08:00

The music mogul celebrated his 40th birthday in style last week – thanks to his wife, Beyoncé.

The Grammy-nominated singer planned a star-studded surprise party for her hubby and invited 50 of his closest pals, including Diddy, Kate Hudson, A-Rod, Kanye West and Alicia Keys.

DJ Cassidy spun tunes at the bash held at the Casa de Campo resort in the Dominican Republic. The party, which had a 1940s theme, included a fireworks show and two dance floors.

At the fete, Jay-Z and Keys sang an impromptu version of their hit song, "Empire State of Mind," and West gave a toast to his friend, the birthday boy.

Pocahantas Is Getting Paid!!!

2009-12-09T01:53:00.000-08:00

How can I prove I'm Indian? Make it rain!!!?

Thousands of American Indians would receive as much as $1,000 each if they accept a proposed $1.4 billion to settle a class-action lawsuit over government mismanagement of tribal lands.

The suit, filed in 1996, accused the U.S. Department of the Interior of failing to account for and provide revenue from a trust fund representing the value of Indian assets managed by the government.

As part of the settlement, the federal government would agree to establish a $2 billion program to buy small fractions of land to help sellers obtain value from ancestral property, which then would be held by tribal governments.

The missing funds at the center of the class-action case involve what are called Individual Indian Money accounts, which are supposed to represent the property of individual American Indians. The accounts are held by the United States as trustee.

The lawsuit had accused the government of failing to account for the money, failing to make proper payments, and converting tribal money for the government's own use.

A federal judge must approve the plan, and Congress would have to enact a bill to implement it.

Sade is Back!!!

2009-12-08T02:51:00.000-08:00

Finally, real music has returned to the radio...

Sade will debut a brand new single online today!

The title cut from the anticipated album "Soldier of Love," Sade's new single is set to arrive at sade.com at 7am EST Tuesday, December 8.

"Soldier Of Love" which Sade co-produced with Mike Pela, was written by Sade along with longtime collaborators Andrew Hale, Stuart Matthewman and Paul Spencer Denman.

The track, featuring a pulsating and anthemic drum beat along with haunting vocals that Sade is known for, is also set to debut at radio December 8th and will kick off the countdown for "Soldier of Love".

Recorded in England and set for release worldwide on February 8(th), "Soldier of Love" marks Sade's first studio album since the multi-platinum release of Lovers Rock in 2000.

Hear it below...

Pee-Wee Herman is Back. Check Your Local Porn Shop

2009-12-08T02:45:00.000-08:00

The Pee-Wee Herman Show is back. Paul Reubens, who created Pee-Wee and played him on stage, TV and film between 1980 and 1991, is bringing his goofy-geeky man-child to the Los Angeles stage for a limited live-performance run at Club Nokia next month. “It’s going to be really, really good! I swear!” Reubens said, wearing Pee-Wee’s signature gray suit and bow tie, at a press conference today.

The full-scale stage performance, produced by Tony Award-winner Scott Sanders (Elaine Stritch: At Liberty) and directed by Alex Timbers (Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson) will revive the character Reubens first brought to life on stage in a comedy act and then spun into HBO’s The Pee-wee Herman Show in 1980. That show gave rise to two feature films, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985) and Big Top Pee-Wee (1988), and the CBS children’s program, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (1986-1991).

After Reubens’ arrest in 1991 for indecent exposure and the subsequent media frenzy, CBS pulled Pee-Wee’s Playhouse off the air. Over the years, Reubens has tried to resurrect the character and the show. In fact, this production is the first step in his dream of a full-scale Pee-Wee comeback. “I want to make a big, giant, epic adventure movie based on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, ” Reubens said. “This [stage] show is what I did originally to have a career, so why not [do it again]?”

Beyonce: PLEASE Take a Vacation!

2009-12-08T02:40:00.000-08:00

Because God knows the world needs a break from her and her lacefronts!!!

The 'Sasha Fierce' reign is coming to a close according to ten-time Grammy nominated diva Beyonce.

According to the "Video Phone" singer, a break has been penciled into her calendar that includes traveling, art classes and walking the streets -- alone.

We always knew she had a another side job. Does Hova know about this?!

"I usually know what I'm going to do within a year. I have the next year planned out. But for the first time ever, after a couple of dates in February and a couple of award shows, I promised myself that it's time to smell the roses," Beyonce told the Daily Star. "I'm going to take - hopefully - a couple of months off. I'm not going to plan anything."

While Beyonce is all about taking some time off, she won't be going too far. According to Daily Star, the diva plans to spend much of that time on the streets of New York.

"I'll perhaps take some art classes, I'll visit some museums and I'll check out some shows on Broadway," says Beyonce. "I'd like to travel somewhere - maybe back to Egypt - without anyone, without any security, and focus on things I've always wanted to do myself."

As previously reported on Singersroom, Beyonce told fans she would see them in 2010 with a new album last month.

We say a DECADE off!

Serena Fined Big Time

2009-12-08T02:36:00.001-08:00

APparently, the US Open fines by the pound.

Serena Williams was fined a record $82,500 for her U.S. Open outburst against a lineswoman and could be suspended from the annual New York event if she has another "major offense" at any Grand Slam in the next two years.

Monday's ruling from Grand Slam administrator Bill Babcock said Williams faces a "probationary period" at tennis' four major championships in 2010 and 2011. If she has another "major offense" at a Grand Slam tournament in that time, the fine would increase to $175,000 and she would be barred from the following U.S. Open.

"But if she does not have another offense in the next two years, the suspension is lifted," Babcock told the Associated Press.

He said Williams must pay $82,500 right now, already nearly double the previous highest fine for a Grand Slam offense — about $48,000 Jeff Tarango was docked in the 1990s.

Williams cursed out a lineswoman after a foot-fault call at the end of her semifinal loss to eventual champion Kim Clijsters at the U.S. Open in September. The outburst drew a $10,000 fine from the U.S. Tennis Association in September — the maximum onsite penalty a tennis player can face. But because it happened at a Grand Slam tournament, Babcock was charged with investigating whether further punishment was merited.

He concluded that Williams violated the "major offense" rule for "aggravated behavior." The Grand Slam committee — with one representative from each of the sport's four major championships — approved his decision Saturday.

They're just jealous because no one else in tennis has ass for days and days like Serena.

Haters!

Mariah Carey Is A Serious Actress!

2009-12-08T02:24:00.000-08:00

MC should get an Oscar just for daring to look raggedy on screen!

Yes, heauxz, try not to laugh...

For her role in the critically-acclaimed film "Precious," Mariah Carey will receive a Best Supporting Actress award at the 14th annual Capri-Hollywood Film Festival" in Italy, reports Variety.

The movie, directed by Lee Daniels, will also have its Italian premiere at the fest, which runs Dec. 27- Jan. 2 with its awards presented on Dec. 28.

Carey joins such past Supporting Actor Award recipients as Dennis Hopper ("Elegy"), Amy Ryan ("Gone Baby Gone"), Rinko Kikuci ("Babel") and Matt Dillon ("Crash").

Last month, it was announced that Carey will receive the Breakthrough Award at the 21st Annual Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards gala on Jan. 5.

We loved Glitter and consider it a cinematic masterpiece.

Don't tell nobody!

Justin Timberlake Is About Six Years Too Late

2009-12-08T02:17:00.000-08:00

As far as we are concerned, Justin Timberlake should have said this the day after the incident, so it is moot, but...

Justin Timberlake apparently has regrets over his treatment of Janet Jackson in the wake of their 2004 Super Bowl debacle.

At the end of the duo's half time performance, JT ripped open her jacket to reveal Jackson's naked breast. Jackson called it a "wardrobe malfunction" at the time. Nevertheless, the brief nipple flash was seen by an estimated 140 million viewers of the CBS event.

Timberlake said at the time that he had no idea that Jackson was topless and quickly distanced himself from Nipplegate.

Nearly six years later, the 28-year-old tells Entertainment Weekly that he regrets the way that he handled the situation.

"I wish I had supported Janet more. I am not sorry I apologized, but I wish I had been there more for Janet," he said.

Um, yeah, right.

We're not buying it. How convenient that he offers this little nugget when MJ is dead, Janet is the new leader of the clan and she has a new album coming out>

Did Janet make him do this or did he do it on his own? Her career has been in mini-shambles since her breast flap.

Things that make you go hmmm.

It was just a titty, America, Dayum!

The Cheetah Chronicles: And Here We Thought Eight Was Enough...

2009-12-08T02:09:00.000-08:00

The Cheetah Chronicles Continue...

When did he find time to play golf?!

I guess there is no such thing as hole in one anymore...

It seemd that one person has had enough of Tiger's fuckery. Elin Nordegren has moved out of their $2.6 million Windermere (Florida) home. Sources say she is living nearby in another house.

We here at Society Sex say fuck that, Elin. You make him move!

*Now, back to the mistresses. At press time, the amount of women rumored to have had affairs with Tiger had grown to nine, according to a British tabloid, TMZ.com, and New York's Post and Daily News publications.

One is rumored to be Holly Sampson, described by People as "a porn star with titles like 'Cheating Housewives 6' and 'OMG, Stop Tickling Me' to her name." She has yet to confirm or deny the rumors, according to Britain's Sun tabloid. That's because porn stars stay true to the game and know when to keep their holes closed. Unlike these other eight skanklettes

The Sun also claims that Woods dated an unidentified British television hostess who's now married but was single during their relationship.

The third woman – again, according to the Sun- is an unidentified wealthy older woman who supposedly hooked up with him in his office. They reportedly met at the Blue Martini bar in Orlando, a location mentioned in accounts of his other alleged affairs. In fact, TMZ.com reported that the Orlando nightclub 23 has nicknamed a private VIP area "The Tiger's Room" for him because he's such a frequent guest.

The aforementioned trio joins previously alleged mistresses Rachel Uchitel (NY club hostess), Jaimee Grubbs (San Diego cocktail waitress); Kalika Moquin (Las Vegas nightclub marketing manager); Jamie Junger (Las Vegas cocktail waitress); Mindy Lawton (Orlando waitress near Woods's home) and Cori Rist (random woman at Manhattan club Butter).

Elin, girl?

Get half, then get out!

LeAnn Flees Marriage for Peen!

2009-09-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's over for LeAnn Rimes and husband Dean Sheremet.

"After much thoughtful mutual consideration, Deane and I have agreed to move forward with dissolving our marriage," the country star says on her Web site.

"This decision was amicable and we remain committed and caring friends with great admiration for one another. Thank you for your continued love and support."

Rimes, who turned 27 Friday, married Sheremet in 2002 when she was 19 and he was 21. They separated amid allegations of her affair with actor Eddie Cibrian.

LeAnn and Eddie met while filming Lifetime movie Northern Lights last fall. Cibrian, meanwhile, filed for divorce from wife Brandi Glanville last week.

once in a while comes along a situation
little country girl needs inspiration
every starlet gets that wicked push
i married for peen
he didn't crave my

nutbush

city limits got me in a daze
playing with dildoes
got my poon all in a craze

pimped out before puberty
this is what my parents
done dun' to me
latched on to the first man I'd see

I met this friend
I thought would understand
we were after the same thing
a well-hung man

feel my woe
I'm a country, cock-hungry
big-teefs
squinty-eyed ho

I smell a Cuntry Music Award. Where's my check!!!!?

Whitney Is Back! Hide The Pipe!!

2009-09-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

First Britney, now, Whitney. Crackheads are making a comeback!

With today's release of her first studio album in seven years, Whitney Houston is gearing up to sell the heck out of it with a string of broadcast and print appearances in the coming weeks.

The 46-year-old pop sensation will promote "I Look to You" with an appearance on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" that will air on Sept. 14. Next Tuesday, she'll tape a performance in New York's Central Park for ABC's "Good Morning America."

And according to Reuters, several magazine cover stories are in the works, including the next issue of Ebony. A tour may also be on the horizon for next year.

Industry sources expect the Arista album will sell between 300,000 and 400,000 copies across the United States during its first week, easily taking the No. 1 spot during a late-summer slump. Such a start would outpace first-week tallies for recent releases by Kelly Clarkson (255,000) and Madonna (280,000) but fall short of those for Mariah Carey (463,000), Beyonce (482,000) and Britney Spears (505,000).

Below is the first track off her new album. We likes:

MJ Was a Pothead!!!!

2009-09-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

People magazine is reporting that marijuana was found along with numerous empty drug bottles during a police search of Michael Jackson's rented home shortly following his death, according to search warrants unsealed on Thursday.

Two bags of marijuana, a bottle of temazepam (used to treat sleeplessness), empty bottles of the sedatives lorzaepam and diazepam were discovered during the search, reports People.com. They also found four other empty pill bottles with no indication as to what may have been in them.

The warrant also says that, on the day of Jackson's death, as investigators were at the house, "family members of the decedent notified Los Angeles County Coroner's Assistant Chief Ed Winter that they had located a quantity of tar heroin in [Jackson's] bedroom on the second floor of the residence. Winter notified LAPD detectives of the found evidence." There is no mention in the warrant if the evidence really turned out to be heroin.

With these daily leaks of more drug use, we are surprised Amy Winehouse never knocked on MJ's door!

Naomi Has a Bone to Pick

2009-09-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

And probably a cell phone to throw too...

Naomi Campbell is accusing the advertising business of using the recession as an excuse to avoid using black models to sell their products.

"This year, we have gone back all the way that we had advanced," she says, according to UK's Telegraph newspaper. "I don't see any black woman, or of any other race, in big advertising campaigns."

Campbell, who was born in London to a mother of Caribbean descent, refers to the publication last year of a special edition of Italian Vogue dedicated to non-white models.

"That made some noise, but, unfortunately, we are the same as before," she says. "People, in the panic of the recession, don't dare to put a girl of color in their campaign, full stop. Nor of any other race. It's a shame. It's very sad."

No comment on addressing whether designers are afraid to hire Ms. Campbell, who has a history of beating staff and snorting up anything not glued to the coffee tables.

Walter Cronkite, R.I.P.

2009-07-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

Walter Cronkite, the premier TV anchorman of the U.S. networks’ golden age who reported a tumultuous time with reassuring authority and came to be called “the most trusted man in America,” died Friday. He was 92.

Cronkite’s longtime chief of staff, Marlene Adler, said Cronkite died at 7:42 p.m. at his Manhattan home surrounded by family. She said the cause of death was cerebral vascular disease.

Adler said, “I have to go now” before breaking down into what sounded like a sob. She said she had no further comment.

Cronkite was the face of the “CBS Evening News” from 1962 to 1981, when stories ranged from the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to racial and anti-war riots, Watergate and the Iranian hostage crisis.

It was Cronkite who read the bulletins coming from Dallas when Kennedy was shot Nov. 22, 1963, interrupting a live CBS-TV broadcast of the soap opera “As the World Turns.”

He died just three days before the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, another earthshaking moment of history linked inexorably with his reporting.

Paul McCartney Is Cheap!

2009-07-18T02:29:00.000-07:00

Paul McCartney speaks about his rift with the late Michael Jackson on tonight's broadcast of "The Late Show with David Letterman."
Taped earlier today at The Ed Sullivan Theater – where the Beatles made their American debut in 1964 to launch the "British Invasion" – McCartney explained that he and Jackson "fell apart" over the Beatles catalog, which the King of Pop snagged only after McCartney told him that he planned on purchasing it himself.

The year was 1985. Jackson and McCartney had just recorded two songs together, "The Girl is Mine" for Michael's "Thriller" album and "Say Say Say" for Paul's "Tug of War." Jackson, one day, asked the Beatles singer to explain the value of artists owning their own music publishing rights.

In the tutorial, McCartney mentioned he was planning to buy rights to the Beatles music at an upcoming auction. McCartney said Jackson commented that he would buy the rights first. McCartney laughed it off as a joke.

Cut to the auction, where McCartney found out that his buddy paid $47.5 million to outbid him for the catalog. Adding insult to injury, the moonwalker then turned around a few years later and sold the rights to Sony for $95 million.

According to McCartney, Jackson informed him, "That's just business, Paul."

"We've never kind of got to it, and I thought 'hmmm,' so we kind of drifted apart," the 66-year-old told Letterman, but then added that "there was no big bustup."

He then said Jackson "was a lovely man, massively talented, and we miss him."

Well, what else can he say? Other parts of that time McCartney did not mention was how cheap he was when it came to the sale. Even Yoko wanted to pay more.

And then he let a peg-legged ho hop off with even more?

Tsk tsk tsk, Paul!

Blow Up of the Day!

2009-07-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

We hope the bride to be that never was at least kept all the receipts for the various arrangements, considering the price tag.

San Antonio Spurs star Richard Jefferson left his bride hanging last Saturday, stopping cold a posh Manhattan wedding that reportedly cost $2 million to prepare, reports the New York Post.

Jefferson -- who was traded from the New Jersey Nets in June -- dumped onetime Net dancer Kesha Ni'Cole Nichols just before the weekend, according to sources. She immediately called her family and friends to say the ceremony booked at the Mandarin Oriental in Columbus Circle was off.

But Jefferson waited much longer, his friends told The Post. "He called about two hours before the wedding. It was nuts," said one Jefferson pal.

This has got to be THE most expensive breakup ever!

Tito, Gimme Some Tissue!!

2009-07-16T09:59:00.001-07:00

Tito Jackson has confirmed that he and several siblings had an emotional intervention with Michael Jackson before his death in an attempt to end his addiction to prescription drugs.

Tito said he and his brothers and sisters conducted a military-style raid on the King of Pop's Neverland ranch.

"I never saw [Michael] on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him. He did almost everything in his power to make sure we didn't know," Tito, 55, told Britain's Daily Mirror in a lengthy interview Wednesday.

But when the stories just grew too loud to ignore, "We had to act. It was me, my sisters Janet, Rebbie and La Toya and my brothers Jackie and Randy," Tito said. "We burst right into the house and he was surprised to see us to say the least. We went into one of his private rooms and had a discussion with him. Some of us were crying.

THIS...from Quincy Jones?

2009-07-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

This is some pot, kettle shit if there ever was any!

Grammy-winning music producer Quincy Jones argues in a controversial Details magazine interview - which we assume was done before Michael Jackson's recent death - that Jackson “obviously didn’t want to be Black” and suggests that his psychological problem may have resulted from some childhood trauma.

In response to a question relating to how Jackson had begun to distort his face, Jones said, “It’s ridiculous, man! Chemical peels and all of it. And I don’t understand it. But he obviously didn’t want to be Black.”

Jones added that all one had to do to get a sense of what Jackson thought about his blackness was to “see his kids.” Reportedly, all three of Jackson’s children were conceived using eggs from white women and sperm from white men.

Asked if he ever talked with Jackson about whether he wanted to be a Black man, Jones replied, “That’s not the way you do it.” But he said Jackson told him the chemical treatments of his face were necessary because of a disease. But Jones said he did not believe him.

We're speechless.

Wino Is Leading the Single Life Now

2009-07-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

And she wakes up alone...

Well, aside from that crack pipe.

Amy Winehouse's tempestuous marriage ended Thursday when the singer and Blake Fielder-Civil were granted a divorce by a judge in London.

A judge read out the divorce decree for "Fielder-Civil B. v Winehouse A.J." along with those of other estranged couples at a brief Family Court hearing.

Neither 25-year-old Winehouse nor Fielder-Civil, 27, was in court Thursday. The divorce becomes final after six weeks and a day.

Winehouse married Fielder-Civil in Miami in 2007, but he was arrested six months later over an assault and sent to jail.

He filed for divorce earlier this year on the grounds of the soul diva's infidelity.

What we wanna know is who has been sticking their doo hilly in Winehouse's crack cha cha?!!!

That hole just screams CDC!

Jessica Simpson...Dumped!!

2009-07-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, when PEOPLE asked Tony Romo what he had planned for girlfriend Jessica Simpson's birthday, he said, "It's a secret."

A secret someone might not like, as it turns out.

Simpson's birthday surprise turned out to be a shocker: Although Romo had insisted that things between them were "going good," the Dallas Cowboys quarterback ended their year-and-a-half relationship on July 9 — the night before the singer turned 29.

"She is heartbroken," says a source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."

She's really gonna pack on the pounds now!

Brandy, Dumped...Again

2009-07-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

This ewok just an't get a break!

Perez Hilton is reporting that Brandy has been dropped by her record label and management in the same week. The gossip blogger said both Roc Nation and Epic Records terminated their contracts with the singer, whose career had been stopped cold in the wake of a 2006 car crash, which claimed the life of a fellow motorist and led to her pulling out of a judging role on the hit TV show "America's Got Talent." Her comeback album, "Human," did not do as well as expected.

Looks like brother Ray-J is gonna have to release another sex tape to make ends meet in that household.

Raven-Symoné Is Just Fat...Not Pregnant

2009-07-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

"That’s So Raven" star Raven-Symoné has been the subject of Web-circulated rumors that claim she is either pregnant, or has already given birth to her first baby – but a rep for the 23-year-old mogul says neither report is true.

"Raven-Symoné is not pregnant nor did she give birth," her publicist tells People.com.

Numerous media outlets have claimed that Raven-Symoné had been hiding a pregnancy, and the stories reached a fevered pitch earlier this week with reports that she had gone on to deliver a healthy baby girl.

At least if she were expecting, she'd have an explanation for those thunder thighs

MJ on the Auction Block!

2009-07-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

Due to an onslaught of interest in an Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson that was up for auction in New York, organizers have decided to remove the item from the block.

The Vered Gallery in East Hampton says enormous interest prompted the decision, reports the Associated Press. The auction was to close Sunday.

The 30-by-26-inch painting shows a smiling Jackson in a red jacket from his "Thriller" days. Pre-sale estimates ranged anywhere from $1 million to $10 million. The portrait is reportedly owned by a New York collector.

Gallery co-owner Janet Lehr says in a statement she wants to offer the 1984 work to "the greatest number of prospective purchasers."

Make that to drive the price up so she can make a pretty penny during this recession.

We are not mad at her!

Sarah Palin: "I Quit This Bitch!"

2009-07-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

Outgoing Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on Saturday laid the groundwork to take on a larger, national role after leaving state government, citing a "higher calling" with the aim of uniting the country along conservative lines.

Please Lord don't let her higher calling include a run for the White House!!!

A day after surprising even her closest friends by announcing she would step down as Alaska governor more than a year before her term was up, the controversial hockey mom was still keeping details of her future plans under wrap. But in a statement posted on Palin's Facebook account, she suggested that she had bigger plans and a national agenda she planned to push after she resigns at the end of the month.

Steve McNair - R.I.P.

2009-07-05T05:49:00.001-07:00

Steve McNair -- an NFL QB with the Tennesse Titans and Baltimore Ravens -- was found dead Saturday in Nashville, Tenn., according to Nashville police.

McNair suffered a fatal gunshot wound to the head in downtown Nashville. A female victim was also found dead. Police have not released the name of the female, only to say it is not McNair's wife, Mechelle.

The call to police came in at 1:35 PM. The circumstances surrounding the shooting deaths remain under active investigation.

There were no signs of forced entry at the crime scene. No suspects have been taken into custody.

Kelly Rowland & DeadBeat Daddies

2009-07-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Kelly Rowland has squashed rumors that she's trying to hunt down her biological father, saying she's far too busy to be concerned with the deadbeat at this point in her life.

"I don't know who started that story! I haven't actually. I feel like I'm not really ready for that yet, I've enough going on in my life to really open that up," she tells Britain's Heat Radio. "Maybe later on in about 16 or 17 months. I told myself I'd work for 16 long months and then I'd take a vacation or a break, but now is not that time for me."

Kelly, 28, and her mother Doris Rowland Garrison left the family home because her father was "drunk and aggressive." The Destiny's Child member says she doesn’t even know if her father is still alive.

"I don't know where he is but I hope he's not dead. That would break my heart," she said. "I remember my dad being drunk and aggressive towards my mom but not me. It took courage for her to get away.

"I don't know if he knows who I am or what I've done. He must be hiding under a rock if he doesn't."

Diana Ross Might Be Raising Some More Chirrenz!!

2009-07-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

As if she does not have enough children, Diana Ross may be caring for some more in the future. Hold on, Katherine!

Michael Jackson's July 7, 2002 will was filed Wednesday in a Los Angeles court, naming his mother the guardian of his children and Diana Ross as a successor guardian to his mother if necessary.

The will, which estimated his worth at the time at more than $500 million, gives his entire estate to the Michael Jackson Family Trust. The documents said Jackson's estate consisted almost entirely of "non-cash, non-liquid assets, including primarily an interest in a catalogue of music royalty rights which is currently being administered by Sony ATV, and the interests of various entities."

His mother, Katherine Jackson, is named as a beneficiary of the trust. Jackson's longtime lawyer John Branca and John McClain, a music executive and a family friend, are named as co-executors of the will.

Usher: Billie Jean Part II (The Kid Is Not My Son)

2009-07-02T01:28:00.000-07:00

The National Enquirer is reporting that Usher wants a paternity test done on his youngest child – 6-month-old Naviyd – because he and his soon-to-be ex-wife Tameka were having little to no sexual relations at the time she conceived.

Usher should also request that Tameka drop trou and prove to us and the entire world that she is not tucking a major piece down there. She screams trannydom to us!

“The first thing Usher said was, ‘How did this happen?’ - because he was gone a lot, and their sex life was very, very limited,” a friend of Usher told the tabloid. “People have been telling him that around the time the little boy was conceived, Tameka got together with another man.”

Tameka, however, claims Naviyd is Usher's child and says it was the singer who was being unfaithful at the time.

Peen/poon swap-out?!

We're following this case!

R. Kelly Feeling On More Underage Booties!

2009-07-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

As one alleged pedophile is laid to rest, one seen on tape pissing on young girls remains free and still on top of the charts...

Published reports say that a spokesman for R. Kelly “disputed the report” that police raided Kelly's suburban Chicago home looking for a 17 year old girl.

The Olympia Fields, IL Police department and the Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart have denied the report that R&B star R. Kelly is under investigation for a sexual relationship with an underage girl.

Again.

Again.

The information was released on Wednesday, "citing an anonymous source 'close to R. Kelly,'" saying "that police raided the singer's home in suburban Olympia Fields in connection with an alleged relationship between Kelly and a 17-year-old girl." The report also claimed that "Olympia Fields Police are still tenaciously pursuing the case."

R. Kelly is about to go to Africa.

The entire continent should be on high alert!!!

Dolly Parton Remembers Michael Jackson

2009-07-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

Dolly Parton is and will always be one of our favorite heauxz. Here's what she had to say about Michael Jackson.

When she passes, we will be in utter despair!!

The King Of Pop Once Again

2009-07-01T04:10:00.001-07:00

Michael Jackson will be the King of Pop once again when sales figures are released Wednesday.

According to preliminary reports issued by the magazine, three of Jackson's albums have moved over 100k since his untimely death Thursday, June 25.

The titles, which include "Number Ones," "The Essential Michael Jackson," and "Thriller," all sold at least 100k before Sunday night.

While Jackson's sales jump will not be reflected on the Billboard 200 albums chart, due to the albums being ineligible as catalog entries, Billboard says Jackson will dominate the catalog and overall sales charts. In comparison, last week's #1 catalog album sold 9,000 copies.

"Off the Wall," "Bad," "Dangerous" and "The Ultimate Collection" have also sold well at retail and through digital retailers such as Amazon.com. In fact, Jackson's digital sales surged to nearly 1.8 million last week.

Again, exact sales figures will be revealed Wednesday, July 1.

Who's broke?!

Joe Jackson Is OUT of the Will

2009-07-01T03:59:00.000-07:00

If ever there was a reason for MJ to have a will, it's this!

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Michael Jackson's will, last amended in 2002, provides for his kids and his mother, but leaves nothing to his father Joe.

John Branca, Jackson's primary lawyer from 1980 to 2006, is reportedly in possession of the will – which he claims to have written – and plans to submit it to Los Angeles Superior Court on Thursday.

According to the will, Jackson left his estate — estimated at $1 billion — to his mother, three children and one or more charities. It also reportedly names Branca and music executive John McClain as executors.

So if Michael Jackson was broke, we want to be broke like that.

It is not known if the 2002 will included instructions on custody of Jackson's three children -- Prince Michael, 12, Paris, 11 and Prince Michael II, 7.

Keep plugging that record label, Joe. It's about all you have left!

Ri-ho-ho Is Never Gonna Learn!

2009-07-01T03:54:00.000-07:00

We were kidding about a blow to Laytoya's head.

But Rihanna's?

We might not be joking around. For obviously, it's foreplay to her...

Sources close to Rihanna and Chris Brown say both parties believe the no-contact clause in his plea deal is pointless, not to mention impractical.

"They think it's unnecessary and ridiculous," the New York Daily News quotes of "a mutual pal" regarding the protection order handed down last week. Brown pled guilty to one count of felony assault in the February attack that left Rihanna battered and bruised.

Brown was also told he must stay at least 50 yards away from Rihanna and keep a distance of 10 yards from her if they attend the same event.

"After the proceeding, Ri and Chris talked on the phone for almost an hour and really worked at becoming friends. They're solid now," said the mutual friend.

Solid as a rock...upside her five-head.

Stay tuned, heauxz!

Jackson Career Resuscitation!

2009-07-01T03:51:00.000-07:00

We are fully behind this idea because ALL of the living Jacksons need a hit. And we don't mean a slap to Latoya's head!

A Michael Jackson tribute tour featuring his sister Janet and his brothers is "on the table for consideration" in the wake of his death.

"The proposal is either that the Jacksons fulfill some of Michael's London shows, or do a U.S. tour where they would perform his hits and theirs with him," wrote Friedman in his Hollywood Reporter column, citing unnamed sources.

"Janet would be the star of such a show, substituting for Michael since none of the brothers would be remotely capable of being the lead performer," he wrote.

Damn, that's harsh.

True, but harsh!

Madonna & MJ: Because She Needs The Publicity

2009-07-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

Because she has to say something...

After last week calling Jackson 'one of the greats' (and leaving room for to perch herself on top, we figure), Madonna has more to reveal.

Well, color us colored.

Madonna was apparently interested in joining Michael Jackson on stage for one of his 50 planned concert dates in London, according to her manager Guy Oseary.

There were longtime industry rumors that the two superstars had a falling out years ago after a planned duet for Jackson's 1991 "Dangerous" album never materialized. But according to Oseary and his Twitter page, the Material Girl was hoping to perform with the King of Pop this summer.

"A month ago Madonna told me she wanted to do a surprise performance at one of Michael Jackson's UK shows," Oseary tweeted.

Yeah, but did she run that by Michael's camp?

We cry foul.

Perez Hilton Is A Bitch

2009-06-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton has filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles against the tour manager of the Black Eyed Peas after claiming the man punched him in the face several times following a heated exchange with Peas member will.i.am.

Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, sued Polo Molina Wednesday for battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress. He is seeking unspecified damages in excess of $25,000.

The suit states Hilton is seeking to protect his rights to free speech and claims Molina attacked him because he made critical comments about the Black Eyed Peas' new album.

Heauxz, if you see this face on the streets...punch it again!

R.I.P. Farrah

2009-06-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

It seems like Hollywood is losing alot of angels lately. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah, and then Michael Jackson. In less than 24 hours.

Farrah Fawcett's funeral will take place tomorrow, June 30th. Fawcett, 62, died after a long battle with cancer. The ceremony will be private. Sources told People that Fawcett's longtime partner, Ryan O'Neal, is in charge of making arrangements.

Bernie Madoff Will Die In Jail

2009-06-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

And he should, the greedy bitch!

Historic swindler Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison Monday for a fraud so extensive that the judge said he needed to send a symbolic message to potential imitators and to victims who demanded harsh punishment.

Scattered applause and whoops broke out in the crowded Manhattan courtroom after U.S. District Judge Denny Chin issued the maximum sentence to the 71-year-old defendant, who said he lives “in a tormented state now, knowing all the pain and suffering I’ve created.”

Chin rejected a request by Madoff’s lawyer for leniency and said he disagreed that victims of the fraud were seeking mob vengeance.

Someone needs to take a shank in prison and do him in early!

Katherine Jackson: "Neverland Is Next, Bitches!"

2009-06-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson’s mother, having won temporary guardianship of her late son’s three children, is now attempting to take control of the “King of Pop’s” estate, according to a person close to the court proceedings.

Superior Court Judge Mitchell Beckloff granted Katherine Jackson temporary guardianship of the children on Monday. He also scheduled a hearing for Aug. 3 on Jackson’s petition to become permanent guardian of her son’s children.

The petition also seeks to name Jackson as administrator of the children’s estates, but the judge did not grant that request.

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

2009-06-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

R.I.P.

We are too shocked to say anything further

Heaux Up Or Blow Up: K-Fed

2009-06-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Blow Up!

Because every now and then, true pimps get caught and have to make amends, but K-Fed is not one of those. He is a straight up, dumb-ass bitch!

Case in point.

K-Fed's gonna have to sell some baby batter to get bailed out from the US government -- and it's something he should have done a long time ago.

The IRS has slapped a lien on Federline to the tune of $14,371 in back taxes, according to The Detroit News. It's not like he's not making money. Federline is pulling in $30,000 this month alone for babysitting his two kids.

Getting paid money to do what he should already be doing anyway? We loves it!

Clearly Kevin's sperm is not only potent -- it's extremely lucrative.

And to think Britney thought this was the hot shit abck in the day?

We hope they upped her meds!

Chrihanna: No Jail Time For Him!

2009-06-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

Take a good look, heauxz, because this is the last time you wille ver see these two this close.

He'll spend 180 days doing community labor (8 hours a day -- 1440 hours total) -- which is, in effect, hard labor. He'll do his service in Virginia which is where Brown lives. A Virginia law enforcement officer told us Brown will be picking up trash, pulling weeds and washing fire trucks.

He gets 5 years probation for felony assault -- he pled guilty. He'll get supervised probation. He'll have to come back to court every three months.

He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program. You know, because that always works.

*eyeroll*

This is interesting ... the judge said if Brown and Rihanna are at the same public events, the 50-yard stay away turns into 10 yards. So in essence, he can almost pimp-slap her and get away with it still. The stay away order lasts 5 years.

The judge said she wanted to make sure that Chris Brown "was treated as any other person who comes through this court."

If Brown violates probation, he could get up to 4 years in prison.

Rihanna was in the courthouse but never entered the courtroom.

So Brown is now a convicted felon and loses the following rights: To own a gun, to sit on a jury, subject to search and seizure without a search warrant and he now has limitations on travel.

When Brown left the courtroom ... Rihanna walked in the courtroom. The judge explained the deal to her. The judge is telling Rihanna about the protective order.

Looks like it's time for a 'hit' single to get the most out of this scandal!

Black Eyed Peas Go Boom POW! On Perez Hilton's Face!!

2009-06-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Just imagine that pink filled in with black, heauxz, and that is what this bastard is looking like these days. And we kinda like it. Not that violence is ever the answer, of course.

*snicker*

Even people that are gay and homosexual-like hate him. We kid you heauxz not. The lowdown? The scoop? Here it is, folks!

Perez Hilton said he used the word "f**got" to tick off Will.I.Am -- and it worked -- but turns out the Black Eyed Pea wasn't the only one who got offended.

GLAAD -- the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation -- says they've asked Perez to apologize for using the highly offensive gay slur ... but have yet to hear a peep from his foul mouth.

GLAAD sent us the following statement:

"We have reached out to Hilton and asked him to apologize for promoting this anti-gay slur, and we would ask media outlets to avoid repetition of the slur in their coverage of this story.

For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous.

It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes."

Fuck that bastard.. He had time to Twitter for help immediately after incident, but could not dial 911 first?

Stupid bitch!

He should have been slapped around a bit more.

We kid, we kid!!

Ed McMahon: R.I.P.

2009-06-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ed McMahon has passed away at 86, according to reports.

He died at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in California this morning.

He is best known as Johnny Carson's sidekick on "The Tonight Show" and his infamous catchphrase, "Heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!"

McMahon also hosted "Star Search" and "TV Bloopers And Practical Jokes" with Dick Clark.

He was a colonel in the United States Marines and a fighter pilot and served during the late 1940s and 1950s.

Ed was one of the good guys and a true American hero!

Our sincerest respects to his family at this time.

Lady Gaga Is On Fire!

2009-06-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

The desperation in this picture is directly proportional to the talent.

Some of you consier Lady Gaga the second coming of Madonna. We here at Society/Sex just don't see it! Tihs is Donatella Versace's future stunt double unleashed onto the pop scene.

Look at this heaux and her flame-broiled titties. Does she have any shame?

We’re not sure to laugh or offer Lady Gaga some soothing balm.

There is not a free clinic in the world that can help her.

We would call the fire department, but she'd probably fuck them all.

Vivica A. Fox Is One Desperate Heaux

2009-06-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

Did Chris Stokes switch up his diet or has this cougar grabbed a new youngsta?

Vivica A. Fox sank her claws into some new meat over the weekend. Looks like Chris Stokes is her latest prey. She was seen out dining with him at Mr. Chow’s.

Yep, he might have switched up his diet for this man-eater!

Beyonce Who?!

2009-06-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

Beyonce is really really REALLY having a bad week.

It ocntinues...

LeToya Luckett and Busta Rhymes are jetting off to the BET Awards with hosting and red carpet duties.

Mathew Knowles, Beyonce's daddy, is totally not liking that. So much so in fact...

LeToya: “It saddens me a little. Because our situation happened close to 10 years ago, and I think as we all know Bey is a very very very talented artist, and I think that we both have our own lanes and fanbase, and I don’t see why I would have to be one of the ones picked out of the entire crew of females that will be hitting the stage that night. I don’t know… I’m gonna try and word this right… I just don’t understand why I’m picked outta that group because there are so many other female artists performin’ that night and I think we all deserve to have a chance at that stage. Everybody works hard and we all have something different to offer, from Keyshia to Keri to Bey, everybody is different in their own ways so it saddens me if that’s true, and I hope that’s not the case but I’ll be there regardless”.

translation: "fuck you and your whole damn family, B! Nothing but death can keep me from that stage you raggedy bitch!"

Thanks to recently confirmed deals with both Upscale Magazine and House of Vinyl, Luckett and Rhymes join Queen Latifah and a number of other celebrities confirmed to not only attend but host BET Award weekend events.

Luckett, prepping for the release of "Lady Love," will kick things off by co-hosting red carpet arrivals at Upscale's 'Fusing the Worlds of Music and Hollywood' pre-BET Award event . Also celebrating comedian Tony Rock, the Upscale sponsored event is expected to bring out Hollywood stars and comedians Steve Harvey, Eddie Murphy, Mike Epps, and DL Hughley.

See what happens when you flee Beyonce's clutches?!

Farrah, where are you?!!!

This Is Just Not Beyonce's Week

2009-06-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

Kelly Rowland has taken a trip back to #1 status, thanks to the buzzing single "When Loves Takes Over" !

Somewhere, Beyonce is pulling out her weave and beating her father with a hot comb.

The David Guetta collaboration, featuring the former "Work" diva, reached #1 on the UK Singles Chart over the weekend and becomes the first UK #1 for Rowland since breaking with Destiny's Child a few years back.

It is also her first #1 since breaking from the clutches of Beyonce's father's management.

Coincidence? We think not.

Alicia & Whitney Together (But Not Like That)

2009-06-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

*meow*

No pussy jokes, please!

It's no secret that Alicia Keys is busy working on new music but a rumored collaboration with returning 'Bodyguard' vocalist Whitney Houston is creating buzz across the net.

Keys, currently working on the follow up to 2007s "As I Am," is rumored to have penned a song for the former "I Have Nothing" singer titled "Million Dollar Bill"!

Is this the bill she did all that coke with?!

"Million Dollar Bill" precedes Key's fourth studio album and a host of projects coming from music icon Clive Davis.

If the song makes the cut, "Million Dollar Bill" would join a soon to be released Diane Warren and David Foster helmed single, set to lead Houston's as-yet-untitled comeback in September.

Speaking of the single with enthusiasm, Warren says "Whitney's back big time".

Smoke Crack, Get a TV Show

2009-06-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

See kids? If you smoke crack, you can get a TV show too!

Producer Scott Storch has signed a deal with reality show giants Bunin/Murray for his own reality show.

The series, according to a press release, will document him "making hit records with all of the hottest acts in the industry while opening the door to the hot and trendy Miami music scene.

"Also, it will capture Mr. Storch's ups and downs in the volatile music business," which in recent months has included arrest warrants, tax troubles and money problems.

David Weintraub, one of the show's executive producers, said, "This is a monumental moment to see a producer of his caliber let the cameras into his world and see how hit records are made. A lot of people have tried to get Scott to open up the curtain to this process but have never been successful."

We're looking for our crack pipe now!!!

Tameka, Star Jones Is NOT The One To Ask

2009-06-22T06:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Tamek,a you asked Star where to go to get rid of your ove handles and almost died. So please, don't fuck up your future alimony checks by taking more advice from this weaved tortoise!

On Wednesday, Foster performed a notorious twitter snafu when she inadvertently posted a message to Star Jones on her public page instead of sending it as a private direct message," Murray wrote in BV Voices.

"@starjonesesq my lawyer= horrible. Need the name/number of a good one in Atlanta," Foster submitted to the former co-host of 'The View' publicly on Twitter.

Recognizing her mistake -- the 38-year-old, mother of five immediately posted another tweet asking: "Please delete this...it was a DM mistake. Not for ppl to see. I'm sorry."

Kessler is the lawyer who told The Associated Press last week that Tameka was a "faithful wife and loving mother," but declined to comment about Usher's conduct during the marriage.

What can we say?

Dumb ass!

That is all.

Beyonce Will Have Solange's Weave For This!

2009-06-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

One of these weaves is lying. Let's cut to the chase....

Beyonce has been threatened with a $1 million lawsuit after pulling out of a scheduled appearance on Saturday at New York nightclub M2. We here at Society/Sex think lil' sis is partially to blame.

$1 million lawsuit? That's alot of weaves, wigs, and House of Derriere accessories!

According to the New York Post's Page Six, owner Joey Morrissey agreed to pay her $200,000 for the Saturday gig. But the singer suddenly axed the appearance on Wednesday, with her reps claiming she was too busy preparing for her North American tour.

Her camp instead offered an hour-long personal appearance from the star at the club, but Morrissey claims he had already spent $100,000 preparing for the singer's show.

He tells Page Six, "They said they were too busy with the launching of the tour and that they wouldn't have time to do the kickoff party. We sold tables for thousands of dollars for the show, and spent $100,000 renting a soundboard and other equipment, as per their stipulations. What good does her showing up for an hour do me? They've been totally unwilling to agree to another show."

Morrissey is now threatening to file suit against Beyonce over the cancellation, claiming the club has suffered a "loss of reputation" in addition to his loss of cash.

In response, Beyonce's camp released the following statement saying they never signed a contract and she was only due to co-host the evening anyway.

The cancellation of the launch party for Beyonce's "I AM..." tour, first scheduled for this Saturday at M2, was a result of a breach of contract by the promoter. Beyonce never had a contract with the club itself and no one in her camp dealt directly with the venue. The superstar was never scheduled to perform but was to serve as a co-host and introduce singer/songwriter Solange's performance. Patrons were falsely promised a performance by Beyonce.

Solange totally forged Bey's name!

That snatch you hear is the sound of the glue flying from Solange's scalp.

The Fresh Prince Was a Bitch!

2009-06-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

"There’s a machine and it was designed to make him a superstar. And that machine was designed to steamroll over anybody who got in the way. I was simply a body…” -- Janet Hubert

Yep, that's how Janet Hubert, the first Aunt Viv from the iconic hit show "The Fresh Price of Bel Air," bluntly put it in an exclusive interview. This is to spread the word about her new book titled ‘PERFECTION IS NOT A SITCOM MOM.’

But trust us, she has a LOT more to say that's even more powerful than that. And if you can't wait, we've got a sneak peek for you below. Read on.

*WARNING: It is going to be hard, even painful, for many people to fathom that Will Smith - an actor who has achieved the greatest level of fame, admiration, and success imaginable - may have at one time in his evolution, been a complete a-hole.

Now, nearly two decades since NBC’s ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ took the 22-year-old rapper from his radio-friendly songs long enough to start his walk on the road to stardom, former “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” cast member, Janet Hubert-Whitten, aka ‘Vivian Banks’ aka “The first Aunt Viv’” has broken her silence and authored the book, ‘PERFECTION IS NOT A SITCOM MOM.’

Oh, we can believe it. But it's a little late to be suing, Viv!!!

Chris Brown Is the Dumbest Defendant Ever

2009-06-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

If you were a singer accused of beating your girlfriend to a pulp and your preliminary hearing were set for Monday ... would your next release be a song called "Smash"?

We thought not. Our readers have some damn sense. But apparently, Chris Brown is missing some significant portions of his medulla oblongata.

By the way ... Monday will be extremely interesting. Rihanna is set to take the stand and give the blow-by-blow.

That's right, RiRi. Point his ass out just like in the pic above. We doubt he will attack you in the courtroom.

Although, we cannot be too sure with this foolyun!

The big question -- will Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, cross-examine Rihanna. As we reported, Rihanna was aggressive with Brown in the car, striking him repeatedly after seeing a text message on Brown's phone from another woman.

Lindsay Lohan: Keep A-Knockin', Crackwhore!

2009-06-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

We here at Society/Sex can relate to Samantha Ronson's plight. We know what it's like to be stalked by crazy bitches at all times of night, being cornered in parking lots, etc.

Have we said too much?

This is a recent photo of Lindsay Lohan trying to re-connect with her honey bunny, but her former flame has moved on to cleaner, more sanitized pastures.

Is she in tears because she cannot get in or is she crying because she has nowhere else to go for a coke fix?

Keep on knocking, Lindsay.

That door is probably forever closed.

Much like her film career.

Adam Lambert Is Coming...

2009-06-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

An album featuring Adam Lambert is coming out sooner than expected.

Songs from the “American Idol” runner-up will be released this summer by Hi Fi Recordings and Wilshire Records, beginning with the single “Want.”

John Hecker, CEO of Hi Fi Recordings, said the tracks were recorded in 2007 and 2008 before Lambert’s rise on the popular Fox singing competition. The album will be titled “On with the Show.”

The music has an audience, and it deserves to be heard. I think it’s great music. At the end of the day, from my perspective, we’re really helping Adam.”

Gisele: Knocked Up!

2009-06-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

The supermodel of the world is pregnant. Somehow, we are not joyful.

Gisele Bündchen is expecting and "ecstatic,". She is due early next year.

Speculation has grown since pictures showing the supermodel in Brazil this week surfaced showing what seems to be a perceptible bump. Bündchen and New England Patriots quarterback husband Tom Brady were married twice this Spring — first in a ceremony in Los Angeles Feb. 26, then exchanging vows before friends in early April at Bündchen's Costa Rica home.

"Gisele will be an excellent mother," a source tells PEOPLE. "She's always wanted kids."

Josie Bissett: Fuck It! I Need a Check!

2009-06-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

Josie Bisset is no fool either, but a check is a check is a check!

It is a recession, heauxz!

Bissett, who played Jane Andrews Mancini from 1992 to 1999 on the original Melrose Place, will reprise her role with a guest-starring appearance this fall on The CW's reboot of the classic soap, according to People. Laura Leighton and Thomas Calabro, who respectively played Jane's scheming sister Sydney and scheming husband Michael, previously signed on as part of the new cast.

Who is next? Vanessa Williams needs a check too.

No, the other Vanessa Williams.

Those Damn Kennedys!!!!

2009-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

When we thought of the name for our blog, naturally The Kennedys came to mind...but not this way!

The half-brother of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is under investigation in Oregon for allegations involving child pornography.

James Auchincloss is accused of possessing child pornography, though no charges have been filed. However, documents supporting the search warrants say a large number of graphic images of young boys have been seized.

In October, police searched the 62-year-old's home in Ashland, a college town on the California border. Affidavits supporting the search were leaked to the Ashland Daily Tidings earlier this month, and the newspaper shared them with The Associated Press.

Interestingly enough, we could not find any photos of James with other members of the Kenndy clan, which makes us suspect that those other members knew how fruity this bastard was zet did not report him.

The plot trickens...

Neve Campbell Is No Fool

2009-06-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Neve Campbell is no fool. Always refuse the first offer. It is a recession, so can we be mad at her for wanting a bigger check?

Campbell, who portrayed Sidney Prescott on the first three "Scream" films, reportedly has refused to get involved in the fourth installment of the thriller-mystery, "Scream 4". The rumors sparked as the screenwriter of the film, Kevin Williamson, recently wrote in his Twitter page, "Trying to figure out a Sid-less scenario. She won't do it. This sucks."

Campbell's tight schedule reportedly becomes the reason behind her refusal to be involved. She currently is starring in a new NBC TV series entitled "The Philanthropist" and working on lots of movie projects. The 35-year-old actress previously worked on "Relative Strangers" and "Closing the Ring".

Lots of projects? We have not seen this heaux in forever and a day but she is busy? What the fuck ever!

In related news, Courteney Cox and David Arquette reportedly were in negotiation to reprise their roles on the movie. Coming from the original producer of "Scream" Wes Craven, the film is scheduled to be released in U.S. theaters in 2010.

Throw some more money at her and watch her change her mind!

LeAnn Rimes: I'm Not Divorcing My Fey Husband

2009-06-19T03:57:00.000-07:00

Looks like LeAnn is keeping her husband...and her dildo.

A rep for LeAnn Rimes has hit back at rumors that the singing powerhouse is heading for divorce court.

“Contrary to any tabloid rumor, LeAnn is not seeking a divorce,” the star’s rep said in a statement.

The statement comes on the heels of a report sent out by In Touch Weekly on Thursday, which claimed Rimes told husband Dean Sheremet she is ready to file for divorce and is hoping to be with Eddie Cibrian, with whom she starred in Lifetime movie “Northern Lights” in March.

Ginuwine: I Was Suicidal

2009-06-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

R&B singer Ginuwine, after losing his father and mother, says he attempted to commit suicide more than once.

"After my father shot himself to death and my mother died from cancer less than a year later, I really didn't want to live anymore," Ginuwine tells Essence.

We're sure dwindling album sales did not help matters either.

According to the former "Pony" and "Differences" singer, life became emotionally and mentally unbearable to the point where ending it all seemed to be the only option.

"I didn't want to live and tried to commit suicide more than once. There was no one around that I really loved at the time, so I turned to the drinking and drugs like weed and ecstasy. I was done mentally and emotionally to the point that I had to go see a psychiatrist... in fact, the two times I visited him I was high," Ginuwine goes on to admit in the shocking Essence exclusive.

So please heauxz, listen up. What he is trying to say is, if you don't buy this new album, he may kill himself, forcing sluts worldwide to delve into necrophilia!

Morgan Freeman Is NAST-AY!!!!!

2009-06-19T03:37:00.000-07:00

Our favorite actor...the voice of God for Christ's sake...is a pedophile.

Say it ain't so!!!!

National Enquirer is reporting that Morgan Freeman, 72, has had an affair for the past 10 years with his own 27-year-old step-granddaughter.

27 minus 10? For you sluts that cannot subtract, that is firmly in the clutches of R. Kelly territory.

The tabloid quotes an unnamed "source" who says their relationship began when she was a teen and not only contributed to his split from Myrna, his wife of 25 years, but also led to his breakup with his longtime mistress, former schoolteacher Mary Joyce Hays.

The woman in question, E'Dena Hines, is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw, and was raised by Morgan and Myrna "since she was a little girl," said the unnamed source, described by the Enquirer as a "close family insider."

So he touched her diapers, and now she is re-paying the favor by touching his Depends?

We are shocked!

"Myrna said E'Dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse, said the source.

"E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

We here at Society/Sex will never be able to watch another Morgan Freeman movie. This is going to hurt us more than you think.

*cry*

Women Looking for Their Barack

2009-06-18T02:09:00.000-07:00

President Barack Obama's name has become shorthand for a black man with integrity, character and spirituality, one who loves and values his wife and makes his family a priority — in other words, the kind of man that many black women had despaired of finding.

Polls indicate probably every single woman she knows is looking for her "Barack."

The story is the same elsewhere among black women, who say the new code word for Prince Charming has become so commonplace that they have been asked "Have you found your Barack?" or told others "I'm looking for my Barack."

Obama's sex appeal hasn't hurt — what other president would get high marks in a swimsuit competition? But he has touched a nerve among black women in particular, who consider him an IBM (Ideal Black Man) — educated, eloquent, tall, attractive, family oriented, ambitious and down to earth.

Well, guess what, heauxz? He ain't in the ghetto. So get your game tight, enroll in some courses, get that GED or something.

Barack is waiting for you!!!

Jolie Causes Clinton To Collapse

2009-06-18T01:50:00.000-07:00

Miss Jolie has some explaining to do. This is bordering on sextortion!

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton fractured her right elbow during a fall Wednesday, her chief of staff said.

Clinton was on her way to the White House (dreaming of a tet-a-tet with Angie, no doubt) when she fell and injured her elbow, chief of staff Cheryl Mills said in a statement released late Wednesday.

Clinton was treated at The George Washington University Hospital, just a few blocks from State Department headquarters, before going home. She will undergo surgery to repair her elbow in the coming week, Mills said.

Clinton had been scheduled to join actress Angelina Jolie on Thursday morning at a Washington event marking World Refugee Day. That event has been removed from Clinton's public schedule.

There's our culprit!

How dare you, Ang? Does your steeltrap thundercat know no limits?!!

She at least owes Hillary a little candy striper action!

Chris Brown: Delaying the Inevitable

2009-06-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

Jail is a-calling, but someone is hoping to get away with a massive beatdown...

Chris Brown's lawyer has asked the California Supreme Court to delay a key hearing in the singer's assault case, marking the second time his camp has submitted such a request.

Mark Geragos wants the state's high court to put off a preliminary hearing scheduled for Monday so that he can gain access to police personnel and investigative records, reports the Associated Press. At press time, no decision had been made.

It's the second attempt Geragos has made to delay Brown's preliminary hearing. An appeals court rejected his first motion to delay last week.

The 19-year-old R&B star faces felony assault and criminal threats charges for the alleged beating of his former girlfriend Rihanna. She was subpoenaed to testify and is expected to appear on Monday.

A judge will decide after Monday's hearing whether there is enough evidence for the case to proceed.

How much more evidence does one need?

We expect another Ri-o-ho sex tape to be unleaked in the interim.

Mark our words!

Usher: Hypnotized By Cougar Poon!

2009-06-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

The National Enquirer has gotten involved with the Urshmeka divorce coverage.

'Urshmeka'? Scrumptiously ghetto and we here at Socety/Sex loves it!

The tabloid is reporting that another woman was behind Usher's split from Tameka Foster and ultimately caused the couple to separate in July, five months before their second son was born.

The other woman, according to the Enquirer, is said to be 42-year-old Def Jam Records executive Grace Miguel, who is 12 years his senior.

"There were rumors all year that Usher was going to file for divorce. But it was only when he fell for Grace that he took action," a source tells the tabloid. "Usher couldn't resist her - and they've been seeing each other regularly on the West Coast."

The singer is also alleged to have refused Foster's attempts at a reconciliation because he is so taken by Miguel.

"Tameka made a last-ditch attempt to save the marriage. But the relationship has been over since Usher met Grace," the insider adds.

Usher is seeking joint custody of his two sons with 38-year-old Foster, Usher Raymond V, 18 months, and Naviyd, six months.

So Usher is into sour titty ball milk?

Who knew?!

Cougars, get it!!

Beyonce: The B Is For 'Bootleg'

2009-06-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

Because only 'B' can bootleg her own shit.

Beyonce has filed a federal lawsuit in hopes of stopping counterfeiters from selling fake merchandise outside of her concerts, reports TMZ.com.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in New York, alleges that a group of people have sold knock-off CDs and merchandise in "the vicinity" of past concerts she's performed around the world.

Isn't Beyonce buying yak hair 'in the vicinity' of her own shows? We suspect so!

Beyonce believes the piracy is bound to happen again -- specifically at her upcoming concerts at Madison Square Garden on June 21 and 22 -- so she's asking the court to deem it illegal before the bootlegged merchandise hits the streets.

We're not mad at her. But she should sue herself for sampling every past hit from the last two decades.

Lindsay Lohan is a Thieving Ho!

2009-06-17T06:37:00.000-07:00

Dior earrings and a necklace estimated to be worth $400,000 have gone missing after Lindsay Lohan wore them for an Elle U.K. photo shoot.

This case should already be closed. Anyone with eyesight can see that Hohan is back on the smack/crack and thieving it up!

Someone call security!

Police confirm to People that the jewels were reported as missing on June 8, two days after Lohan posed in them. A spokeswoman for the magazine released a statement saying, "Elle has no reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan was in any way responsible and has no further comment to make."

translation: "we cannot prosecute this strawberry snortcake until we have more evidence"

Lohan's rep tells the magazine, "We inquired and everyone from the shoot is being questioned. Hair, make up, stylist...even photographers. Lindsay hopes they find the jewels. She is happy to cooperate."

We'd suggest that the police look up in that dirty hole of hers.

Yes, all of them.

Christina Milian Handles The Economy & Finds True Calling

2009-06-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

Part-time singer/full-time ho Christina Milian has no problem with strip clubs but she does have a pet peeve about men in the clubs.

"Only thing I don’t like about strip clubs is the guys will pay the women to give me lap dances because they want to see them dance for me, Milian tells Maxim.

"The strippers will come over and say, “That guy said he’ll give me $100 if I give you a lap dance.” I’m like, “Hey, can we at least split the money?”

Milian, baring lingerie and other revealing apparel in the July issue of Maxim, even admits to bringing the strip club home to her boyfriend -- sort of...

"I try a little bit of everything. I’m all about keeping the excitement in the relationship. That’s why I sing songs like “Dip It Low.” When I’m with somebody, I like to keep it exciting."

Welove it when stars find their true calling. However long it may take.

Are you reading this, Megan Fox?!

Eddie's Ex-Wife Is A Glutton For Punishment...

2009-06-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

We know what some of you are thinking:

Trannies are taking all the available men in Hollywood. Stop hatin' and read further....

Retired NFL star Michael Strahan has quietly been engaged to Eddie Murphy's ex-wife/beard Nicole since May 22, which was also the day that his upcoming TV show, "Brothers," was picked up by FOX.

While the two were on a beach in the Bahamas, Strahan, 37, got down on bended knee and handed her a canary yellow and white diamond ring.

"I have a great relationship and she's a great dude, er girl," says Strahan, who is a father of four. "I don't like to talk much about my private life, but I'm really happy."

Murphy, who has five children with her ex, wouldn't comment about the plans for her future with Strahan. But he says that though they've talked about it, "There aren't any plans for kids… We've got nine between us already."

How these trannies are delivering is truly beyond us. Someone needs to look into this for us!

Sticky Fingaz & Black Russian Roulette

2009-06-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

We file this one under "moments of ignunce"...

Sticky Fingaz has released a statement explaining how he accidentally shot his friend and fellow rapper Luce Cannon, leaving him with a shattered shin bone.

Last week, the rapper/actor said he was displaying his baby Desert Eagle weapon to Luce when the gun accidentally fired, lodging a bullet into Luce’s leg. The injured MC underwent emergency surgery, but the cap is still lodged in his leg.

Sticky revealed that he is still on good terms with Luce, who at press time is seeking a second medical opinion on his recovery, reports Allhiphop.com.

“This incident was unfortunate, but could have been much worse,” Sticky said. “I’m just happy Luce is recovering and in good condition.”

With friends like this, you won't have enemies...

Cuz you will be DEAD!

Kelis: Heaux Up or Blow Up!

2009-06-16T03:37:00.000-07:00

R&B singer Kelis recently filed for divorce from rapper Nas, despite being seven months pregnant. So what could cause an expectant mother to give up on the picture perfect family?

Turns out more than just crazy pregnancy hormones are to blame for this split. A sex tape featuring Kelis and another rapper is responsible for the couple's marital troubles. Though filmed prior to their marriage, it seems Nas’ macho feelings were hurt.

And now, Kelis is angling for more money from her babydaddy. WTF?

We here at Society/Sex are sick and tired of these so-called "baller bitches" proclaiming to anyone that will buy the CD/book/DVD that their taint and titty balls are drenched in gold...

Then when their man or insignificant other leaves their asses, they transform into what they really were from JUMP...

a pathetic, gold-diggin' trick-a-lick!

I love you, Kelis, but now is the time to shake your tail feather and spread your heaux wings!

In other words?

Shut the fuck up!, shake what yo mama gave you (or plastic surgeons did), take that
curdled milk to the corner and see who tries to lap it up.

It's a recession, bitch!

Get your A-game going!

Heaux up or blow up!

Scott Storch Did WHAT?!

2009-06-16T03:13:00.000-07:00

File this one under dumbass of the day!

It almost seems impossible, but it's tragically true. Scott Storch squandered $30 million. Not only that, he did it in less than six months.

That's alot of lines, crack, and Boone's!

"[It was] unlike anything I've ever seen in my entire life," the producer's manager, Derek Jackson, told MTV News of his friend of almost two decade's monumental fall. "Historical! It was historical without question."

Historically stupid!

Storch's decline started in 2006, which was arguably his most successful year creatively and definitely his most fruitful year financially. He was one of the top producers in the business, having worked on hits by Beyoncé, 50 Cent, the Game, T.I., Chris Brown, Christina Aguilera, Dr. Dre, Nas, Snoop Dogg, Pink and many others. He had a long way to fall.

Storch's drug was cocaine. The abuse of the narcotic almost cost him his career — and his life. Earlier this year, he was arrested for grand theft auto for allegedly failing to return a Bentley he'd leased in 2006. And last year, Storch hit legal trouble after reportedly falling behind on both his child-support payments and his property taxes.

Learn this leson, heauxz: If you cannot afford the white lines, classy clubs etc...?

Stick to Budweiser and crack like the rest of the hoodrats!!

Ri-ho-ho Is Losing Dough Dough!

2009-06-16T02:33:00.000-07:00

A video purported to be a sex tape featuring embattled singer Rihanna was leaked over the weekend. But, is the tape the real deal ?

For months there have been rumors linking Rihanna and Chris Brown to an alleged sex tape and photographs taken at the peak of their relationship. In May part of that rumor became a reality when 'alleged' nude photographs of Rihanna leaked on the net to be viewed by millions.

Over the weekend a tape, taken in poor lighting, hit the net with a note stating that additional footage would be released June 22 -- the date of Chris Brown's scheduled hearing in Los Angeles on felony assault charges. According to fans of explicit video pornography the nearly 30 sec. video purported to be Rihanna is a fake. In fact, some believe the video is from a tape recorded by porn star Lavish Styles who bears striking resemblance to Rihanna.

The alleged sex tape comes just weeks after Rihanna allegedly lost a nearly guaranteed spread in Vogue magazine.

Sources close to the deal told Star! Magazine that Vogue Editor In Chief Anna Wintour had given Rihanna the indication that the spread was guaranteed but once the 'alleged' nude photographs appeared online Wintour backed out.

According to the same source, "Anna hasn't returned any of her calls. Rihanna's so upset. She hopes the people at Vogue change their minds."

Anna isn't changing her mind. This is what happens when you do a personal spread.

Beware, heauxz!

Michelle Obama Is Not Gonna Like This

2009-06-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

A prominent South Carolina Republican deleted his Facebook page Sunday after being caught likening the First Lady to an escaped gorilla.

Commenting on a report posted to Facebook about a gorilla escape at a zoo in Columbia, S.C., Friday, veteran GOP activist Rusty DePass wrote, "I'm sure it's just one of Michelle's ancestors - probably harmless."

Busted by South Carolina political blogger Will Folks on his FITNEWS blog, DePass told WIS-TV in Columbia, "I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest," reports the New York Daily News.

Then he added, "The comment was hers, not mine," claiming Michelle Obama made a recent remark about humans descending from apes. The Daily News said it could find no such comment.

We here at Society/Sex could go on and on about our former croyy-eyed first lady, the other one that looks like Mother Nature, and the other loon, but we shal refrain.

In related news, Sasha and Malia have joined the NRA.

Negress Distress: Read This Drama!!!

2009-06-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

For the past week, rumor has it that actress Lauren London and rapper Lil Wayne are expecting, as well as Lil Wayne and R&B singer Nivea.

None of the three camps have come out to officially confirm or deny the reports.

Yes, we know. This is like any other day in the ghetto, but these are actually people with a dime to their name, so we carry on...

Among the blog chatter claims: Lauren and Wayne weren’t happy about the pregnancy initially, but they “have accepted it and chosen to raise the baby together.” Everyone’s all smiles now and very excited about the new baby. Lauren says that she’s “not worried about the pregnancy affecting her career,” and doesn’t really care about what people think. She’s stayed very positive throughout this entire time. Lauren and Lil Wayne have decided not to live together or continue with their five year “on again, off again” relationship at this time.

But wait, heauxz. The plot gets thicker than Beyonce's weave...

As for Nivea, rumor has it that not only did Lil Wayne get her pregnant, but he's also about to put a ring on her finger. The two were previously engaged, but broke things off in 2003. She went on to marry hip hop producer The Dream, with whom she had three children. They divorced last year.

First of all, Nivea's mama should be slapped for naming her after skin care products.
Secondly, there is not enough money in the world for us to even want to sit next to Lil' Wayne, but procreate with that ewok? That takes skills we are not capable of.

Third? When these babies pop out, Society/Sex wants to verify they're human!!!

Below is footage of this troll. Imagine lying down with that and not throwing up. Ain't enough cash in the world! We pray your laptop survives this visual fuckery.

R.Kelly In Motherland!

2009-06-15T07:11:00.000-07:00

Didn't Oprah's school for girls just survive a molestation scandal? They'd better lock up in the coming days, bceause the man that loves to feel on your booty if you're under 18 is hitting up Africa.

R. Kelly is scheduled to perform for the first time in Africa this week as part of his involvement with the ARISE African Fashion Awards, which will take place June 20 in Johannesburg, South Africa.

His concert will serve as a close out to Africa Fashion Week, as well as the launch of a multi-city tour that will roll through South Africa, Nigeria, and London.

"I'm very excited about my first visit to Africa, I've dreamed about this for a long time and it’s finally here,” Kelly said in a statement. “It will be one of the highlights of not only my career but my life. I can’t wait to perform in front of my fans in Africa – who have been some of the best in the world."

Of course he would go to Africa, where he can feel on 75 booties for less than 15 cents a day.

Lock the doors, Africans!!!

Lady Gaga Presents The Latest In Hooker Fashion

2009-06-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

We here at Society/Sex would never deny our readers the latest in fashion, no matter how skanky it may seem, so without further adieu, beHOld, the debut of some of the sluttiest pants of the season.

Quite frankly, we'd like a pair.

Make that two.

Sarah Palin vs. David Letterman: It's War!

2009-06-14T04:12:00.000-07:00

Ain't nothing fresher than a little Palin in your cup, right?!

Well, now the governor of that state with 5 people in it fighting mad. Watch out, Dave. This heaux packs heat!

"The Palins have no intention of providing a ratings boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show," Palin family spokeswoman Meg Stapleton says. "Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."

This week, Letterman made the Palins the butt of several questionable jokes on CBS's Late Show after they visited New York and took in a Yankees game with their 14-year-old daughter, Willow.

In comments that have rallied Palin supporters to collective outrage (and were quickly converted into a fund-raising appeal by the "Team Sarah" Web site), Letterman cracked that the Republican governor had a "slutty flight attendant look," and that the worst part of the family's trip was "keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter."

About their visit to Yankee Stadium, Letterman joked: "During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Well, what's wrong with this joke? Everyone knows the Palin children are always fuckin' in the forests!

Joy Behar Gets Her Own Show & It's About Fuckin' Time!!!

2009-06-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

We had to sit through turte-faced, gastric-bypassed, lying bitches, Greek idiots, etc, but finally FINALLY the real star of 'The View' has her own goddamn show!

In her desire for a "lively, fun and interesting show," Joy Behar hopes her just-announced primetime HLN cable program this fall will attract the likes of "George Clooney and John McCain," the View cohost says.

"George has something to say other than 'Go see my new movie,' " says Behar, 65. "That's what I'm aiming for. I'd love to have Bill Maher, Jay Leno, people who have things to say besides trying to get a laugh."

Behar knows the territory well. "I sat in for Larry King a few weeks ago and had Denis Leary and Steve Harvey on. Both of them had great things to say about politics and relationships. They had something to say and they were funny," she says.

Nor would she draw any lines – political or otherwise – when it comes to inviting guests on to what, for now, is being called The Joy Behar Show.

As for extending an invitation to morning deskmates Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Sherri Shepherd, "Absolutely, I would love them on, one at a time, to say things that they may have not had a chance to say on The View," says Behar, who plans to keep the tone "lighthearted. I'm not an angry person. I want it to be funny. I'm a comic too!"

Please, no more Haselcrack. One hour of her is enough a day as it is!