Britney Spears Still Needs Daddy!

We give Britney credit for trying to keep her nether-region covered the last few weeks, her hair combed most days and her passable fashion selections of late, but apparently, it was not enough to fool the law.

Britney is still bringing the crazy and in search of her medulla oblongata!

Her personal and business affairs will remain under the control of her father and an attorney, who have been her conservators since early 2008 when her life was spinning out of control, a judge ruled on Thursday.


Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Reva Goetz met with Spears in court chambers and soon after made the ruling that left Jamie Spears and attorney Andrew Wallet in charge of the "Circus" singer's affairs.


The pair took control of the 28-year-old singer's legal and other issues following several events in 2007 that indicated her life was spiraling downward. She spent some time in drug and alcohol rehab and early in 2008 was hospitalized for psychiatric observation.

Now if we could just get Lohan in a similar sitch. But her parents are probably worse than her!

Bristol Palin: Nacho F*cking Business!

The fact that this story involves nachos should already let you know it is wrong. Because do Bristol's thighs really need any further abuse?

We didn't think so either.

Any-cellulite-at-such-a-young-age-way, the most famous teen fuckup (sorry, Ali Lohan) in America was spotted somewhere she shouldn't be recently. And we don't mean the free clinic.

An Alaska state investigator is reportedly looking into a "Dancing with the Stars" segment that 19-year-old Bristol taped inside Rumrunner's Old Towne Bar and Grill on Thursday.

But a source says, "the place is also a restaurant ... so under 21 is allowed under Alaska law if accompanied by a person over 21, which she was." Bristol was with her partner Mark Ballas during the segment -- and he's 24.

And here's the rub -- our source is adamant, "Bristol had nachos only."

So far, the Alaska Department of Public Safety has no official comment on the situation. But we don't need them to comment because we always have more than enough to say.

What is Bristol Palin doing in a bar in ALASKA with her dance partner? Isn't this how she got her first baby thing int he first place?!

Some tricks just never learn!

It's Cheaper To Keep Her. But Her?

If it's cheaper to keep her, the question we have here at Society/Sex is:

How expensive can this ho be?!

Because no amount of extensive plastic surgery for melon-sized titty balls, whittled down nose, shaved off nose, tummy tucks, facial nips and slaps...could ever class up such a skanky ass broad.

But apparently, her married piece wants to keep this and try to salvage what is left of their relationship.

And her Mattel-approved body.

Montag filed for divorce back in July -- citing irreconcilable differences.

But now, after the two reunited in Costa Rica to deal with a sex tape scandal -- it seems Heidi is once again on board with the whole "'til death do us part" thing.

Because nothing says love like a sex tape for the masses to see!

Mel Better Get a Vasectomy

In a victory for gold diggers worldwide, Mel Gibson's former piece Oksana Grigorieva just nabbed $15,000 more a month, because the judge in her child custody case has increased her child support.

So Society/Sex has a question that must be answered:

Just how many Pamper Pull-Ups does a toddler need?!

Judge Scott Gordon issued an order Thursday afternoon, upping Mel Gibson's child support payment from $5,000 to $20,000 a month.

We've learned Oksana's lawyers had asked the judge to increase the award to $60,000 a month.

Now we suspect that Oksana just might be a gold-digger of sorts and she should definitely get several checks after going through such an ordeal with Mel Gibson, but this is a bit ridiculous. This is gouging!

Are her titty balls not producing sufficient enough breast milk anymore or has the silicone tainted them forever?

Watch for that baby to be sporting diamond tiaras any minute now!

Janet Is A Puma

Janet's got a new man, and this one is very not black and very not poor.

Who says the recession is being bad to everyone?!

Janet Jackson and boyfriend Wissam Al Mana hit the streets of Paris rockin’ matching all black everything. The couple had lunch at The Avenue restaurant before heading to Balmain for some shopping.

This is definitely a step up (literally and figuratively) from that three apples high gnome-Gremlin hybrid she let suck/poke/caress her lady parts for so long. Yes, heauxz! We are talking about Jermaine Dupri! Just because he makes hits doesn't mean you should let him hit it. A true heaux has standards and we must admit that Janet fell off her game a bit. But now she's back with more bang for her buck, for...

Her new boyfriend is a billionaire and is several years her junior, so now it is official...

Janet is a cougar. But we shall take it one step further because that is what you expect from us! So here we go:

Are black women that prey on young men called pumas?

Halle Berry, Vivica Fox, to name a couple. And wait a minute. Is our nation's President also a cougar? How old is Michelle Obama? We're gonna have to investigate that!

We here at Society/Sex have just coined the phrase and we are anxiously awaiting our check, dammit!