Jolie Causes Clinton To Collapse

Miss Jolie has some explaining to do. This is bordering on sextortion!

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton fractured her right elbow during a fall Wednesday, her chief of staff said.

Clinton was on her way to the White House (dreaming of a tet-a-tet with Angie, no doubt) when she fell and injured her elbow, chief of staff Cheryl Mills said in a statement released late Wednesday.

Clinton was treated at The George Washington University Hospital, just a few blocks from State Department headquarters, before going home. She will undergo surgery to repair her elbow in the coming week, Mills said.

Clinton had been scheduled to join actress Angelina Jolie on Thursday morning at a Washington event marking World Refugee Day. That event has been removed from Clinton's public schedule.

There's our culprit!

How dare you, Ang? Does your steeltrap thundercat know no limits?!!

She at least owes Hillary a little candy striper action!

Over Angelina's Dead Body!

And because this will totally shed Megan Fox's image as Angelina's stunt double? And because this will disprove that MEgan Fox only gets ngleina Jolie's sloppy seconds...


Could Megan Fox replace Angelina Jolie as the star of the Tomb Raider franchise?

Terminator Salvation executive producer Dan Lin dropped a bombshell to about.com at the premiere of the new Christian Bale film, saying that he's planning to reboot Lara Croft as an origin story.

What? The origin as a born-again cheap skank?


The two previous Tomb Raider films grossed more than $431 million combined, worldwide. This reboot would inevitably mean casting someone younger than Jolie, and that has lead to rampant fanboy speculation (read: panting, drooling) that Transformers beauty Fox, 23, might be at the top of the list to take on the role. Right now, though, it's merely that: speculation.

We are sure Angie's camp has not been notified of this, because Miss Jolie and her steeltrap thundercat will have this shut down with the quickness!

Mia Farrow Versus Angelina Jolie

It's the attle of the skinny, bony bitches...

After 12 days, Mia Farrow has ended her low-rated hunger strike to raise awareness about how much more she cares about Darfur than Angelina Jolie does.

“I have been instructed by my doctor to stop my fast immediately due to health concerns - including possible seizures,” she wrote on her blog, then pledged her first meal would be “a Subway 5-dollar footlong. I know — right? I’ve just been craving one since Tuesday.”

No word from Angelina, who is rumored to be adopting Madonna's baby away from her as we type this.

Maybe Jennifer Aniston Didn't Know, But We Did...

Angelina Jolie has created quite a stir after the actress told the New York Times she and partner Brad Pitt fell in love on the set of “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”

During a discussion over which of her films she lets the couple’s children see, Jolie told the New York Times, so far it’s just “Kung-Fu Panda,” but she noted she looked forward to the day when the kids can watch 2005’s “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”

“Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love,” Jolie said in article running in the Arts & Leisure section of the paper this Sunday

The quote, however, caused eyebrows to raise, as the movie actually began filming while Pitt was still married to Jennifer Aniston.

Though Jolie’s latest remarks have drawn attention, in the past the actress hinted she grew close to Pitt on the set, but they just remained “very, very good friends,” until after his divorce from Aniston in 2005.

“And then we just continued to take time,” Jolie told People in 2006. “We remained very, very good friends — with this realization — for a long time… And then life developed in a way where we could be together, where it felt like something we would do, we should do.”

How is this news? 9 out of 10 people can probably pinpoint the exact scene in 'Mr & Mrs Smith' where you feel the need to turn to that movie-goer next to you and say...

"Yeah, they're fuckin'!"

Angelina vs. Clay = No Contest

Would YOU pay millions to see the spawn of this Howdy Doody looking stunt double?

I thought not!


Initially, the big celebrity news this week was Clay Aiken's coming out story, published exclusively in People magazine.



Exclusive photos of Clay and his son Parker went for an underwhelming amount compared to the multimillion-dollar price tag that accompanies a Jennifer Lopez or Jolie-Pitt agreement. Aiken's deal cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $500,000 according to several sources privy to the negotiations (a rep for People said "We don't comment on the specifics of any deals").


translation: we gave him Clay Aiken coupons to free dinner at all participating KFCs in the deep south.


when Gayken writes the tell-all about what went down (really down) on American Idol, then give us a ring.

We may care.

Angelina's Stunt Double Speaks (Who's Listening?)

Close...but no cigar.


The 'Transformers' star says she's not gay despite past relationship


The candid 22-year-old "Transformers" star, who's currently engaged to actor Brian Austin Green (excuse us while we blow chunks), opened up to GQ about her love life, telling the magazine she was once in love with a female stripper. Fox, who appears on the October cover in a black bikini, said she was in the relationship when she was 18 and first living in Los Angeles alone.

So she needed free rent? what slut hasn't?!

"Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided — oh man, sorry, mommy! — that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop," said Fox.

The Body Shop? Did her PR team write this?!

"I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita."


Yeah, someone wrote this for her.

Next!!!

The Va-JayJay Wars: Angelina vs. Egypt

Do any of you remember this raggedy ass show? Or more specifically, do any of you remember this show being funny?

Exactly. Ain't nothing funny about having that many damn kids under one roof!

This should be filed under 'How Much Do You Love Your Vagina'...

A 27-year-old Egyptian woman and her husband already had three children — all girls. They badly wanted a boy, and she had not conceived in five years, so doctors gave her hormones.

Well, lo and fuckin' behold, this greedy woman popped out a soccer team all at once, pissing off Angelina and sparking the debate again - are fertility drugs the answer?

A resounding hell*fuck*no!

And the kicker? This couple is broke but got cheap hormones for her to have all these extra kids.

"I'm really scared," she said, lying in her hospital bed in this Mediterranean coastal city. "We live in a mud hut with only two rooms. I don't know how we're going to afford 10 children now."

Word of caution? If you are not Brangelina, capable of generating millions of dollars for your spwan, you close your legs!

The end!