Hilton Receives a Check By Keeping Her Clothes On

We here at Society/Sex will sashay down the meth lane from one crackhead to another!

Paris Hilton will be getting a little something in the mail from Hallmark this year.

And no, it's not penicillin.

The socialite has settled a lawsuit against the company over a greeting card that featured a scene seemingly ripped from her old reality show "The Simple Life." The caption read "Paris's First Day as a Waitress" and made a pun on her trademarked catch phrase, "That's Hot." In 2007, Hilton sued, claiming her publicity rights had been violated.

Last week, attorneys for Hilton and Hallmark advised a California judge that they had reached a settlement. A confidentiality provision limits the release of exact terms, but it's believed Hilton walked away with a favorable package.

When the heiress filed suit in 2007, Hallmark struck back with a free-speech defense.

The case made its way up to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which handed Hilton a huge legal victory last year, as well as wasting taxpayers precious money. The appeals court rejected Hallmark's protected-speech argument and raised doubts that the greeting card was "transformative" expression. The case was remanded back to a lower court.

Since then, the two sides have been preparing for a December trial. Evidence was being collected to ascertain the commercial value of Hilton's endorsement.

Now, pending a judge's blessing, the case is over.

Hilton's name will be stamped in law review articles discussing the tricky balance between publicity rights and the First Amendment — but we may never know exactly what Hilton's publicity is really worth.

But true heauxz know that when Hilton screams "That's hot", she could be speaking on many things: her crotch, the crackpipe in her hand, or the knock-off Fendi bag she'll be claiming is NOT HERS when the police pull her over and empty the contents!

Paris Hilton: Global Ho Domination

Dubai is synonymous with glitz and excess — but can the Middle Eastern hotspot handle the likes of Paris Hilton?

The fame-loving heiress is about to make her first trip to Dubai. The city, located in the United Arab Emirates, will be the location for an upcoming edition of her reality series “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.”

Producer Michael Hirschorn said Wednesday that filming will begin later this month and last some three weeks. The finale will be filmed in Los Angeles.

Hirschorn said the show — and Hilton — will respect the culture of the region, and will be “walked through in great detail what is expected” and allowed.

Casting is under way to find contestants to compete for the chance to be Hilton’s new best friend — or BFF.

Hilton, 28, wants to expand her brand in the Arab world, said Hirschorn.

We hope they haev STD clinics in the Arab world. Here come some real sand crabs!

Paris Hilton Sued For Laziness! Like, Whatever!

Paris Hilton may seem like the ultimate party skank, but she and her handlers, fluffers, etc swear she’s really a globe-trotting workaHOlic who relentlessly (butt)plugs her projects and products (sex tapes).

Defending herself against a lawsuit claiming she didn’t do enough to promote the 2006 bomb “Pledge This,” Hilton insists in a deposition in Miami federal court that she went the extra mile for the movie.


The deposition offers several other glimpses into Hilton’s life, including her preference for David Letterman because Jay Leno asks questions she (can't answer)doesn’t like. She also acknowledges she’d never seen her own cell phone bills until attorneys showed her one in an attempt to figure out who she was calling.

Asked who gets her bills, she replied, “I don’t know. I’m assuming, like, whoever pays my bills. I never ask about that stuff.”

The hotel heiress and her company, Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc., contend she honored her deal to promote the limited theatrical release of “Pledge This!” and never agreed to do as much for the DVD. They also contend the investors made unreasonable and last-minute demands for publicity events when her overflowing schedule was fully booked.

“She’s the single busiest person on the planet,” Hilton attorney Michael Weinstein said Tuesday at a hearing on pretrial motions.

Yeah, it's a busy life sucking cock on screen for green you don't even need, but some broke heiress has to do it!

In her deposition, Hilton describes doing “a huge blowout” with press at the Cannes Film Festival in 2005 in hopes of drumming up interest.

Hilton and the word 'blowout' in the same sentence?

How fitting!

Is This Skank Even Registered To Vote?!

Paris Hilton has some fashion advice for vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin: show some skin.

In the same tone as her FunnyOrDie.com response to John McCain's campaign ad, which pitted Barack Obama as the "biggest celebrity in the world" alongside a montage of footage featuring Britney Spears and the heiress, Hilton took on a host of presidential questions in the November issue of Harper's Bazaar.

"My advice to Sarah Palin is, you've got a hot bod; don't keep it to yourself," the heiress said. "Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit?"


Hilton, whose response to McCain's ad this past summer found her calling him an "old dude," and declaring her own intention to run thanks to her inclusion in his spot, once again declared that she would pick singer Rihanna as a running mate.

In the interview, Hilton also outlined her presidential platform, suggesting she will only wear American designers if elected, replace inaugural balls with Rock Band parties and hire a host of notables to various governmental posts.

"I won't have a cabinet; I will have a closet," she said. " A giant walk-in closet with all styles of advisers, like Michael Kors, Kanye West, Diane von Furstenberg, Naughty by Nature, Stephen Hawking, Madonna, Karl Lagerfeld, and, of course, (her Chihuahua) Tinkerbell."

But Hilton already has some stellar advice right now, thanks to FunnyOrDie.com and a new clip featuring former "West Wing" president Martin Sheen.

In the new clip, set at Paris' "pre-party for the party I'm throwing before the after-party," the heiress glammed up in a green strapless dress and a diamond necklace to speak with Sheen.


Clearly impressed, Sheen gave Hilton his blessing.

"I wouldn't worry about a thing — you're going to make a great fake president," he said, before the pair were interrupted by Martin's son, Charlie, who looked surprised to see his dad at a Hilton party.

Nevertheless, Hilton earned the younger Sheen's support as well.

"I'll make sure to fake vote for you," Charlie smiled before heading for the hot tub.


this has porn written all over it.

Sheen & Paris together?

We're gagging right now!

Paris & Porn: Reunited

A well-known British artist is exhibiting collage portraits of President Bush and Paris Hilton he made out of porn magazine images.

Jonathan Yeo's portrait of Hilton was bought by artist Damien Hirst ahead of Thursday's show opening, said Lazarides Gallery spokeswoman Elizabeth Barrett, who didn't know the sale price.

Yeo has painted portraits of Tony Blair, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Rupert Murdoch and Prince Philip.

He's definitely downsizing for the likes of this skank biscuit.


He got the idea for the collages following the cancellation of a commission by the White House to paint Bush in 2004. He made the portrait, anyway, but in the form of a collage using pieces of pornographic magazines.

Barrett said posters of the Hilton portrait, titled "Paris, 2008," will be sold for $20 each at the gallery.

That's about $19.95 too much.

Britney Forgot Jesus

Now that she's put her dark days (and hopefully ragged weaves) behind her, Britney Spears feels better than she has in years and she says she owes it all to one person: her dad.


In an interview with the Daily Star, the singer praised her conservator-father Jamie for his efforts and self-sacrifice.

"My father saved my life," Britney explained. "I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

The pop star confessed she hasn't always been the perfect daughter, but said her dad "basically gave up his job and his life to look after me at a time when I wasn't even sure I wanted to go on living."

Though she initially resisted Jamie's court-ordered control, Britney admits it's the very thing that saved her.

"I owe him my life," she told the paper.

Now her father can turn his attention to his other country slut daughter, Jamie-Lynn.