Delusional Bitch of the Day: Chris Brown Pleads Not Guilty

Chris Brown has pleaded not guilty to two felony counts in connection with the beating of his girlfriend Rihanna, and a preliminary hearing has been set for April 29.

Not guilty? Not guilty of an uppercut to her toe, maybe. All other areas were apparently fair game, judging from the photos released after he went 10 rounds on her alien 5-head.

The R&B star, dressed in a black suit, arrived about 30 minutes after his scheduled 3 p.m. arraignment in Los Angeles to a bevy of news cameras and photographers.

Flanked by his lawyer, Mark Geragos, Brown entered a not guilty plea to assault likely to cause great bodily harm and making criminal threats in the alleged Feb. 8 altercation, in which the singer allegedly punched, choked, and threatened to kill Rihanna just hours before their scheduled performance at the Grammys, according to a search warrant affidavit.

If convicted, Brown, 19, faces anywhere from probation to a maximum four years and eight months in state prison, prosecutors say. However, legal experts tell People.com that he will likely accept a plea deal on lesser charges with anywhere from a 30- to 180-day jail sentence and three to five years probation.

"A plea deal would be the quickest and least messy way to end this case," says L.A. criminal defense attorney Jeffery Rubenstein, who's not involved with the case. "It would also let Rihanna off the hook from testifying in court."

Rihanna's attorney Donald Etra told reporters outside the courtroom, "Nothing's changed with regard to Rihanna's stance toward this case ... She will testify if subpoenaed and will do everything that's required of her to do."

Currently the singer, is "doing fine," says Etra. "She's in Barbados now with her family."

Madonna Denied! My Personal Sweepstakes Carries On

In a surprise move, a judge on Friday rejected Madonna's request to adopt a second child from Malawi even though the country's child welfare minister had supported Madonna's application to raise the 3-year-old girl.

Madonna's lawyer, Alan Chinula, refused to discuss the ruling further, saying only that he had passed it on to the pop star, who was in the southern African nation but did not attend Friday's court hearing. Madonna can appeal the decision to Malawi's Supreme Court.

A judge who did not make the ruling but saw it and another lawyer present when the ruling was made said Madonna was rejected because of residency rules. Both spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the case.

Malawi adoption regulations require that prospective parents live in the southern African nation for at least 18 months.

Can you imagine Madonna living in Malawi for 18 months? That is a reality show if there ever was one. A shitload of children running after her when she walks through the streets, hoping to be the one scooped up into her clan.

Save yourself a year and a half of anguish, Vadge and adopt me.

Angelina would never have problems like this.

Step up your game, Material Heaux!!

Wanda On The Small Screen

Wanda Sykes is about to finalize a deal for an hour-long late-night talk show to air Saturday nights on Fox.

The program, slated to premiere in the fall, will succeed the recently canceled sketch comedy show "MadTV." The format will feature Sykes and a panel of recurring guests sparring over issues concerning politics as well as pop culture. Sykes will appear in field segments as well.

Sykes's deal brings a rare female presence to late-night television, which is dominated by white male hosts. The actress, who co-stars on CBS' "The New Adventures of Old Christine," previously headlined the sitcom "Wanda at Large" on Fox.

Time To Make Set It Off Required Viewing At Oprah's School

For the second time in two years, allegations of sexual abuse have plagued Oprah Winfrey's school for girls in South Africa.

According to local newspaper "Afrikaans on Sunday," seven students were suspended last week for sexually harassing their schoolmates.

One 15-year-old was accused of preying on another student and forcing other girls to lie to investigators about it, the paper reported. Other girls were said to be caught fondling each other or trying to get other girls to join them in sexual activity.

A letter sent to one of the suspended girls' parents reportedly read, "You have been found guilty of physical contact of a sexual nature with another pupil on campus, harassment, bullying other girls on campus and of being dishonest by not telling investigators the whole truth."

Oprah's spokesperson, Lisa Halliday, confirmed the girls had been suspended from the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy School for Girls - but gave few details. "It is because they contravened the school's code of conduct," she said. "We regard the incident as confidential."

Winfrey opened the school in 2007, calling it the proudest day of her life. About 10 months later, 15 girls reported they had been sexually abused by a matron, Virginia Tiny Mokgobo, 27. She denies the charges and is due back in court on June 1.

Run, Kelly, Run!!!!

Several weeks after parting ways with her manager Mathew Knowles, Destiny's Child veteran Kelly Rowland has also ended things as a solo artist with her label, Columbia Records.

The Grammy-winning R&B singer, however, will continue with the company as a member of Destiny's Child.

As if they will ever reunite!

"Because Columbia Records has been my home base as an artist for more than a decade, the decision to move out on my own required a lot of soul-searching," said Rowland in a statement released Tuesday by the label.

"As a solo artist, I felt the need to explore new directions, new challenges, and new freedoms outside my comfort zone and my friends and family at Columbia have been incredibly understanding about my evolution," she continued. "I want to thank everyone at Columbia for the love and support they've shown and I will never forget how many good times we've had over the years."

translation: fuck you Columbia. "You've been under-marketing my albums the past few years and I am getting away from The Beyonce Show!!"

Rob Stringer, CEO, Columbia/Epic Label Music Group, said, "Kelly Rowland is one of our finest contemporary artists and a musical force to be reckoned with. It has been a privilege and a pleasure to work with Kelly and we will continue our working relationship with her under the Destiny's Child moniker. The decision for Kelly to seek other opportunities for her solo career was agreed upon mutually, and any reports to the contrary are false."

We feel fairly secure in saying the following...

LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!