Hos Don't Get Rings

No one has bothered to relay this message to celebutard and all-around ho Kimmy...

Kim Kardashian says she'll be ready to hit the aisle running whenever her boyfriend Reggie Bush pops the question. The socialite and reality TV star even has a ring all picked out and ready for the NFL running back to purchase.

Talk about a big yqueeze. She is calling him out on national media outlets!


"It's just easier," she explains. "Isn't it easy if someone's like, 'This is exactly what I want.' It'll make your life so easy."

She's already let sisters Kourtney and Khloe know which baubles she's been eyeing, because she figures Bush will ask them for their help when he decides to get on bended knee.

We are pretty sure the only one getting on their knees regularly is Kimmy.


"She found one the other day and she was like, 'It's only $20 million,' " Kourtney says.

translation: delusional ho

Kim promises that's not the real price but says with a laugh, "I exaggerated a bit so that when he went in, he would feel like he's getting a good deal."

Reggie has already made it clear he would not want cameras for her E! reality show "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" to follow them around on their wedding day.

"Reggie would rather die," Kim says. "He would rather not marry me. He's very private. We're complete opposites."

We've seen the tape, Kim. We know how private you are.

T.I. Finally Marries Her

Unconfirmed reports about a private wedding ceremony for T.I. and his longtime girlfriend/babymama Tameka "Tiny" Cottle two weeks ago have been officially confirmed.

It only took prison for her to snatch him up. Remember that, heauxz.

"All I am allowed to say is that T.I. and Tiny are officially husband and wife," a source says, revealing that the intimate affair was held in Miami several weeks ago but camouflaged as a couple's getaway before T.I. had to report to jail on Tuesday.


The ceremony was attended by close family members and select members of the rapper's record label Grand Hustle.


This is the first marriage for the couple who, has two kids together, and three from T.I.'s previous relationships. Tiny, a member of the former R&B quartet Xscape, suffered a miscarriage in 2007.


On Tuesday, T.I. began serving his 366-day sentence for attempting to buy firearms while a convicted felon.

Now that is the most romantic honeymoon ever!

Let's see who he has to marry in prison.

Over Angelina's Dead Body!

And because this will totally shed Megan Fox's image as Angelina's stunt double? And because this will disprove that MEgan Fox only gets ngleina Jolie's sloppy seconds...


Could Megan Fox replace Angelina Jolie as the star of the Tomb Raider franchise?

Terminator Salvation executive producer Dan Lin dropped a bombshell to about.com at the premiere of the new Christian Bale film, saying that he's planning to reboot Lara Croft as an origin story.

What? The origin as a born-again cheap skank?


The two previous Tomb Raider films grossed more than $431 million combined, worldwide. This reboot would inevitably mean casting someone younger than Jolie, and that has lead to rampant fanboy speculation (read: panting, drooling) that Transformers beauty Fox, 23, might be at the top of the list to take on the role. Right now, though, it's merely that: speculation.

We are sure Angie's camp has not been notified of this, because Miss Jolie and her steeltrap thundercat will have this shut down with the quickness!

"What's a Heart?", Shannen Asks

“I’ve been affected by heart disease practically my whole life,” Garth recently told Access’ Tony Potts at an American Heart Association’s Go Red For Women BetterU Program event. “My father has struggled with heart disease since he was 50, and I lost him a year ago.”

Having heart disease on both sides of her family has inspired her to talk for the first time about the aliment she discovered seven years ago during her first trip to a cardiologist.


“I have a leaky valve,” she explained. “And it’s a common thing. A lot of people have it, They don’t know they have it… [it] leaks blood.”

The only thing leaky about Ms. Doherty is possibly her silcone implants.

Wino: Back to Crack

We love Amy, but sometimes, you gotta lay down that crackpipe and work!


After waiting almost a year to hear a completed track from Amy Winehouse, Quincy Jones has had to cut the singer from an all-star tribute album being recorded in his honor, the Mirror reports.

Producer Mark Ronson, who'd been working on the song with Winehouse, tells the Mirror, "The track isn't finished and she's not around. If she's not here then, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it." Winehouse is said to be working on a documentary, "a truthful and revealing look at her complicated life."

We'll wait three decades for another album from Ms. Winehouse if it takes that long. Meanwhile, Britney Spears can take her swamp pussy ridden ass back tot he swamp where she belongs!

'V' Returns

Hollywood is recycling again and although this looks sorta hot, we know that it may never live up to the original and it's supreme bitch Diana.

You heauxz remember that heaux?

That was a bad bitch from the 80s with big hair and a big chip on her alien shoulder.

Here she is below having a little snack.

Heaux of the Day: Mary Louise Parker

*puff*

We here at Society/Sex always get a little sentimental when we think of Ms. Parker. No, not THAT horsey-faced Parker. The OTHER one from the other series that deals in green sugar madness.

Yeah, HER.

So we are eager to steal episodes of 'Weeds' off the net and see what's gonna happen to our favorite little saltine temptress.

Please, do not fuck up rotation!

The Return of Buffy?!

Has anyone seen Sarah Michelle Gellar?

Exactly.

Now there's a heaux in need of a J-O-B, but this may not be in the cards for her...

A new incarnation of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" could be coming to the big screen.

"Buffy" creator Joss Whedon isn't involved and it's not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.

While Whedon is the person most associated with "Buffy," Kuzui and her Kuzui Enterprises have held onto the rights since the beginning, when she discovered the "Buffy" script from then-unknown Whedon. She developed the script while her husband put together the financing to make the 1992 movie, which was released by Fox.

One of the underlying ideas of "Buffy" allows Vertigo and Kuzui to do just that: that each generation has its own vampire slayer to protect it. The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.

We were never huge Buffy fans to begin with, but we know enough to know that Ms. Gellar can barely carry a sack of potatoes, let alone a franchise.

Re-cast!!!

Rihanna Set To Get Beat Down AGAIN!

Ri-ho-ho must be a glutton for punishment, because from where we come from, this sounds like another shankdown if there ever was one.

Read on, heauxz!

Rihanna was spotted leaving the New York apartment of Kanye West over the weekend, a sighting that comes amid blog reports that the rapper broke up with girlfriend Amber Rose when he discovered she had allegedly been cheating with rapper Cassidy.

What is this, hip-hop drama? Swapping partners like it ain't nothing. And Cassidy, Amber? Move up, not sideways! But, we digress...

Amber has since denied the Cassidy rumors, saying on Twitter: "I do NOT know Cassidy personally, I met him for the first and only time at a charity softball game. THAT'S IT! These blogs r ridiculous!"

And we here at Society/Sex knows it only takes about two minutes in an abandoned parking lot to sin.

Cameras snapped Rihanna exiting the apartment building wearing a black and white strapless outfit. "In fact, some might say she was a little overdressed for a mere afternoon visit to a pal," quipped the London Times.

Rihanna needs to start wearing bullet-proof tank tops. Hell, she wears ust about anything any goddamn way!

Mel's Brood Growing

Six weeks after his wife Robyn filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, Mel Gibson has some news of his own: his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, 39, is pregnant, the actor’s rep confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.


“He couldn’t be happier,” says a Gibson friend. “He loves being a father.”

Grigorieva, who is signed to Gibson’s record label, Icon Records, is in her second trimester and due in the late fall.

Sounds like a straight up hofessional to us:

Six weeks? Second trimester?

You heauxz do the math!

Gibson’s wife Robyn, who cited “irreconcilable differences” in her April 13 divorce petition, has remained mum on his relationship with Grigorieva and the pregnancy rumors. According to Gibson’s own divorce response, filed on the same day as Robyn’s, he and his wife separated almost three years ago.

Gibson, 53, who has seven children with Robyn, including their youngest, 10-year-old son Thomas, and Oksana, who has a son, Alexander, with her former boyfriend, actor Timothy Dalton, stepped out for the first time at an industry screening for “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” in L.A. on April 29.

Irreconcilable differences? With Robyn set to receive about half a billion from the divorce, these are differences of substantial worth!

Where Was My Goddamn Invite??!

The New York Post is reporting that Oprah Winfrey attended a secret summit held in Manhattan earlier this month involving some of the nation's richest Americans.

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett organized the top secret meeting, with the goal of plotting strategies for weathering the economic downturn and coordinating all of their global philanthropic efforts.

New York's Mayor Bloomberg, George Soros, Eli Broad, Ted Turner, David Rockefeller Sr. and David Rockefeller Jr. were among the attendees at the gathering, which was held inside of the Rockefeller University conference room on the Upper East Side.

Topic No. 1 during the May 5 conclave was which of the moguls' favorite causes -- such as disease control or government reform -- needed extra help during the downturn. They also sought ways to encourage the common man to keep making small-change donations, an aide to one participant said.

IrishCentral.com, which first reported on the powwow, said Gates and Buffett also solicited views on how the group should respond to the global economic climate.

In all, the attendees have donated a collective $70 billion since 1996, according to the Chronicle of Philanthropy.

How Can Robin Givens Be Broke?

Why do all these stars from the 80s end up broke?! Not only did she have her own money, but she ran off with millions from Iron Mike.

Pay your taxes, bitches!!!


With her first marriage to boxer Mike Tyson lasting just one year and a second marriage falling apart in less than one day, actress Robin Givens has been unlucky in love.

She's now also unlucky in taxes.


The U.S. government has sued the 44-year-old actress over what it says is $292,000 of unpaid federal taxes, interest and penalties as far back as 1996.

She could have been selling young pussy during those years, adn now she's gonna have to dole out cougar poon!


In a lawsuit filed earlier this month, the feds asked the federal court in Tampa, Fla. to enter a formal judgment against Givens on 39 separate assessments covering eight of the 12 calendar years through 2007. Such a court finding would make it easier for the Internal Revenue Service to try to collect the allegedly unpaid amounts through garnishing her earnings or levying her assets, such as bank accounts.

Skinny Jeans Are Evil! The Proof!

SKinny jeans are made by the devil and anyone wearing them should be shot, THEN stabbed. And now I have science on my side. Pay attention, heauxz!!!

Skin-tight denim may cause a temporary bout of a nerve condition called meralgia paresthetica, also known as “tingling thigh syndrome.” The condition can happen when constant pressure — in Ghoman's case, from the skin-tight denim — cuts off the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, causing a numb, tingling or burning sensation along the thigh.

Typically, sufferers of the nerve condition include construction workers or police officers with heavy, low-slung belts, pregnant women or obese people; it also can result from a pulled-tight seat belt in a car accident.

But over the last several years, experts say they’ve been seeing more young women at a healthy weight complain of symptoms. The culprit: too-tight jeans.

So there. If you own a pair, burn them immediately.

Now, bitches!!!!

Michael Jackson Fans: Get Your Refunds!!!

Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?

That's teh sound of cash registers demanding rebates, refunds, and reparations!


Reps for Michael Jackson's upcoming string of London concerts have announced that several will be postponed, prompting more speculation that the singer's health is not as good as his camp is claiming.

Has anyone seen his latest nose?!

The opening night at the 02 Arena had been set for July 8 but will be pushed back to July 13, promoters stated. In addition, shows scheduled for July 10, July 12 and July 14 will instead be held in March 2010.

Jackson's rep, Dr. Tohme Tohme, denied earlier reports that the King of Pop is suffering from skin cancer. The singer's collaborator, Kenny Ortega, said the postponements were made not for health reasons, but to ensure the delivery of a flawless production.

"We apologize to all disappointed Michael Jackson fans and remain extremely dedicated and focused on creating an exceptional live music experience," said Ortega, according to the Associated Press.

Promoters said anyone who chooses not to attend the rescheduled shows will be entitled to a full refund.

That bitch is gonna bail!!!

The First Step Towards Skankery

Normally, we here at Society/Sex don't post about alleged stars that we don't know, but in this case, we have to make an exception.

Make that sexception.


Jordin Sparks, who has been wearing a purity ring (proudly signifying virginity) since she was 13, says she is concerned about her budding feelings for a close friend, singer-songwriter and ex-model Steph Jones.

Warning! This is the first official step towards full-fledged fuckery. Miss Sparks is yearning for sparks down there

"We don't know whether or not to go further or to just keep the friendship," the singer, 19, told People Tuesday night at the 57th Annual BMI Pop Awards in Beverly Hills, where Jones was her date. "It's crazy. We've got the feelings, but we don't know whether or not to say it out loud."

translation: I wonder if I can still wear this ring if I let him stick the head in?

In the meantime, Sparks says she is content to just enjoy his company.

"He's a really good guy," Sparks says. "A lot of fun."

Sparks proudly admits she was the one who made the first move.

Of course she made the first move! She is primed to skank it up!

"I met him two years ago," she recalls. "He was writing for Blake [Lewis], who got second place [on the sixth season of "American Idol"]. I was like, 'Can I get your contact information because you are a songwriter?' I was still working on my album and he was the only person I knew in L.A., so every time I would come I would say, 'Hey, you want to hang out?'"

It's about to all hang out.

Countdown to the skankdown in 5-4-3-2...

Scenes From The Ghetto

There are no words!


Just straight up IGNUNCE!


You know these bitches are not working anywhere but on a corner with a ghetto blaster or in a strip club parking lot slanging rocks and skanks!

Is that my cousin?!

Goddamit!

Ah, memories!!!

Lil Kim Can Write?

We have to get over the shock of visualizing Lil' Kim writing anything. Yes, even her own lyrics. But now a book? We smell ghost writer!!!

Lil Kim will reflect upon her 10-month federal prison stint in a new tell-all book to be titled "The Price of Loyalty."

According to the Post Chronicle, the rapper and recent "Dancing With the Stars" standout will write about her experience behind bars at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia.

She was accused of lying about her former Junior M.A.F.I.A. group member and co-manager's involvement in a 2001 shooting in Manhattan, New York, and was found guilty of perjury. The Brooklyn native was sentenced to a prison term of a year and one day in 2005, but was released in Sept. 2006 after serving only 10 months.

The book, according to Kim, is meant to provide inspiration to others, specifically those who are serving time in prison.

"It's about the things I learned and went through," she says. "You don't think about things until it happens to you. The book is going to give people who have been in those situations a bright outlook on life."

Kim really needs to write about her face got all fucked in the game.

Spill it, sprite!

Lesbian 411: News You Can Use

As an honorary lesbian, this is news to me, so if someone else knows more, please fill my quasi-vag in...


You're probably familiar with Linda Perry, even if you think you're not. In addition to being a popular singer in the late '90s, Perry has written and produced some me ga-hits for current recording artists, including Pink's "Get This Party Started," Gwen Stefani's "What Are You Waiting For?," Alicia Keys' "Superwoman" and a half-dozen chart-toppers for Christina Aguilera, including her gay-inclusive hit song "Beautiful."

Currently, she is dating Clementine Ford, the daughter of Cybill Shepherd.

Now that is a heaux up!

The Commodores Are Coming!

That's right. Tell yo mama to get her 'draws ready to throw on the stage once again!

Lionel Richie says his anticipated reunion with iconic group the Commodores is coming soon. In fact, the "Go" singer believes we'll hear a "rumble" by year's end.

"I think right now might be the proper time," Richie told Billboard Monday.

"I can honestly tell you before the end of the year, for sure, you'll hear a rumble".

At their peak, Richie and the Commodores scored the hit singles "Still," "Oh No," "Nightshift" and "Easy" before 1990.

The Commodores' last album "No Tricks" was released in 1993.

Alicia Keys Is a HOmewrecker!

I guess this may squelch those 'Alicia is a lesbian' rumors.

Nah...

Swizz Beatz's ex Mashonda is not letting him walk away lightly. The R&B star is battling her estranged husband in court, demanding increased child support payments to care for their two year old son.

Mashonda split from the hit producer in April 2008 after four years of marriage and she filed for divorce in February (09).

Mashonda claims the support is insufficient to care for their two kids after the Swizz allegedly slashed his monthly payments from $5,000 a week to $3,500 a month.

"An application is pending before the court, where the facts will be developed," says Mashonda's attorney, Bernard Clair

The split couple has also been disputing about bills for Mashonda's mansion in Westchester, New York, after Swizz allegedly refused to pay to repair the heating during the winter.

A pal of Swizz Beatz tells the New York Daily News, "The house is 30,000 square feet. The heat didn't work in one wing, not where Mashonda and Dean slept. Swizz had been paying all of their bills. On top of that, he was giving her $5,000 a week. His advisers felt that was too much, so now he pays her $3,500 a month, on top of the bills.

"Swizz has put settlement offers on the table, but Mashonda won't say what she needs. She just came back from Paris and London. She drives a Bentley Flying Spur and a Cadillac Escalade. I don't think life's too bad for her."

Beatz's lawyer, Dan Rottenstreich, adds: "He's taken care of her and his son above and beyond what's required."

Swizz Beatz is reportedly dating Alicia Keys.

Eminem Bloated Up

Eminem recently opened up about his battle with painkillers and getting sober while promoting his new album, “Relapse.” But in a new interview with British chat show host Jonathan Ross, the superstar rapper revealed he also struggled with a weight problem during his years away from the public eye.

“Did you put on a lot of weight?” Ross asked during an interview, which aired May 15 on “Friday Night with Jonathan Ross” in Britain.

“Yeah, I put on a few pounds,” Eminem said. “I think I probably tipped the scales at a little over 200.”

Somewhere, Mariah Carey is laughing.

Iman Versus Mrs. Obama!

Glamorous supermodel Iman knows a thing or two about beauty, glamor, fashion and style. She also says that Michelle Obama is no ‘great beauty’, but has other, more enduring qualities. Is this the voice of reason from a supermodel? Perhaps. Read about it below and see photos and a video.

The liberal left has insisted on making the Obama’s celebrities as opposed to world leaders. They have insisted on declaring that both Barack and Michelle Obama are all things to all people, including THE MOST attractively beautiful people there are. Michelle Obama was even included in Maxim’s Top 100 hottest women of 2008. Does the First Lady of the United States aspire to be identified as one of the ‘hottest women’ by a men’s magazine along with models, sex kittens and actresses? I would hope not.


Iman might agree with me, although I suspect, from the rest of what she said, that her view of the Obama’s is a bit less critical than mine.

Mrs. Obama is not a great beauty,” Iman says, startling me a bit. “But she is so interesting looking and so bright. That will always take you farther. When you’re a great beauty, it’s always downhill for you. If you’re someone like Mrs. Obama, you just get better with age.”

Iman just fucked up her invitation to the White House with her VERY straight husband David Bowie!

Holly Madison & Her Store Bought Titties

It's nice to know she's not letting those store-bought titties go to waste. Time to put those over-grown babies to good use!

Reality star Holly Madison is done dancing with the stars, but she's keeping her shoes fresh for a burlesque show on the Las Vegas Strip.

Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend has signed a contract to replace actress Kelly Monaco in "Peepshow," a topless revue at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino.

Officials say Madison will replace the "General Hospital" actress and former "Dancing With the Stars" champ starting June 22.

Monaco's run in the show was set for three months, with producers planning to continuously rotate the headline star.

The show also stars former Spice Girl Mel B.

It's nice to know skanks and heauxz have a haven to work during these economic times!

Mariah a Whore? Noooooooooooooo!

Since he first burst onto the scene a decade ago, Eminem has been skewering celebrities in his videos. (His 1999 video for "My Name Is" parodied everyone from Marilyn Manson to then-President Bill Clinton.)

But one celebrity thinks the rapper has gone too far. Nick Cannon has angrily denounced Eminem over a derogatory new track on his new album, "Relapse." In the track, entitled "Bagpipes From Baghdad," Eminem dishes about his alleged romance with Cannon's wife Mariah Carey — a romance that she denies ever happened.

"Mariah whatever happened to us," he raps. "Why did we ever have to break-up?" He then turns his sights on Cannon, who married Carey last year. Nick Cannon, you better back the f--- up," he raps. "I'm not playing, I want her back, you punk." It soon gets worse, when Eminem raps, "I wish you luck with that ... whore."

Camp Mariah has not confirmed or denied being a whore.

Miss Prejean is a Hypocritical Ho....

Ms. California (at least for now), Carrie Prejean, is such an amazing hypocrite. She has taken a strong stand against gay marriage because she is such a devoted religious woman and the Bible tells her that it is wrong.

So, a loving relationship between two people is wrong if they are of the same sex, but it’s okay to defile the body that God gave you so that you can increase the size of your breasts and compete in the vainest sort of competition on earth?!

Carrie Prejean had her breast implants paid for by the Miss California Organization. No, seriously. The Miss California Organization bought boobs for their contestant. Because you are not truly beautiful until you look like a skank in a ball gown. Jesus says so. It’s in that little Bible somewhere, I’m sure of it…

The book of Ho Revelations. Once we find it, we'll feel SO relieved about our existence!

K-Fed to Britney: "I Need More Money For Boone's!"

In these tough economic times, it’s not unusual to hear tales of financial woe. After all, those big bills and shrinking incomes make for a tough balancing act. Just ask Kevin Federline. Yes, even Britney Spears’ infamous ex struggles to keep his booze tabs and bodyguards’ salaries in the budget.

Granted, K-Fed’s budget is bigger than average, thanks to Spears. The magazine estimates Federline’s current Brit-based monthly income at $40,000, including $20,000 in support payments intended for the couple’s children. But one source revealed that’s still not enough to keep Federline in the lifestyle he’s grown accustomed to.

Just how many Twinkies, bottles of Boones, and Marlboro Lights does one need!?

“Kevin has blown through millions of dollars,” the source said. “When he and Britney divorced, Kevin continued the superstar lifestyle, and he spends all the money that he gets.”

Britney, Brit-Shit...you should have just kept him on the side and fucked on the side.

Skanky Priests in Miami. Gotta Convert to Flirt!

This brings the saying "sweating like a whore in church" to a different level...


A popular Miami priest and media personality said Monday he is thinking about leaving the Roman Catholic Church for a woman he loves after a magazine ran pictures of the couple kissing and hugging.

Rev. Alberto Cutie, aka 'Father Oprah', told the CBS "Early Show" on Monday he supports the church's stand that priests should be celibate and said he does not want to become the "anti-celibacy priest."

"I think it's a debate that's going on in our society, and now I've become kind of a poster boy for it. But I don't want to be that. I believe that celibacy is good, and that it's a good commitment to God," Cutie said.

Cutie was removed last week as head of the Miami archdiocese's international radio network and as head of his parish after the Spanish-language magazine TVnotas ran photos of Cutie embracing a woman at a bar and at a beach.

If more pastors/preachers/deacons looked like this, there would be more fornicating ON the pulpit, don`t you heauxz agree?!!

Fuck it! We would convert to flirt!

Too Broke For ER? Just SuperGlue That Toe Back On!!!

Of more than 119 million visits to U.S. emergency departments each year, about 1.5 million end with patients leaving against medical advice, often because they're worried about costs, doctors say.

Even as rising unemployment strips people of health insurance, sending many to emergency departments for care, doctors on the front lines say the lingering recession is also prompting an unexpected outcome.

More patients, they say, are refusing potentially costly procedures ranging from tests to confirm heart attacks to overnight stays to monitor dangerous infections.

Increasingly, such cases are raising ethical dilemmas for doctors, forcing them either to persuade patients to agree to treatment or else to discharge them “against medical advice.” That’s a formal designation that signifies a patient is knowingly disregarding a doctor’s guidelines.

About 119.2 million visits were logged in U.S. emergency departments in 2006, according to a report last year by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Of those, about 1.5 million, or 1.3 percent, ended with discharges against medical advice, or AMA. Doctors believe those numbers are both underreported and growing.

And you bitches in Europe take your health care for granted!

I think my mama delivered me in the parking lot of the hospital when they told her the fees.

Snatching out your own umbilical cord is the new depression!!!

EnVogue Back Together...Again For a Limited Time

The best girl group of all time (fuck you, Destiny's Child!) is set to celebrate 20 years...


You may not have given it a second thought, but this year marks the 20th anniversary of Grammy nominated female singing group En Vogue.



So with a legacy as one of the most popular and successful female groups of all time, En Vogue is celebrating this milestone with a reunion of all four original members: Cindy Herron-Bragg, Terry Ellis, Dawn Robinson and Maxine Jones.

To kick-off this year-long Anniversary Party, all four members will reunite for a special Mother’s Day Concert in New York, followed by an appearance on ABC’s daily chat fest ‘The View’ on Monday, May 11th and a June 7th episode of A&E’s ‘Private Sessions.’

Let's hope this one lasts and we get to see a group where all four members get to share the lead vocals...and lace-fronts!

It's Always The Preacher's Kids!!!!

Joseph Simmons, AKA Reverend Run, and also Run from the seminal rap group Run-DMC, has a teenage son who's in trouble with the law.

The NY Daily News reports that Jojo Simmons, 19, got caught buying marijuana from a street pusher and made things worse by getting rough with the officers, police said.

According to police, the younger Simmons was behind the wheel of his BMW, which has "JoJo" embroidered on the head rests, rolling a joint when the narcs came up and knocked on his window.

Dumb ass. When you have money, you have people deliver you grass. At least, that is what we have HEARD.

*puff*

He jammed the car into reverse and tried to flee but slammed into a parked car. He then tried to go forward but hit another parked car, police said. Then things really got worse because he starting fighting with officers, said police.

JoJo was charged with attempted reckless endangerment, criminal use of drug paraphernalia, resisting arrest and criminal possession of marijuana.

We file this under IGNUNCE, party of one!

Mia Farrow Versus Angelina Jolie

It's the attle of the skinny, bony bitches...

After 12 days, Mia Farrow has ended her low-rated hunger strike to raise awareness about how much more she cares about Darfur than Angelina Jolie does.

“I have been instructed by my doctor to stop my fast immediately due to health concerns - including possible seizures,” she wrote on her blog, then pledged her first meal would be “a Subway 5-dollar footlong. I know — right? I’ve just been craving one since Tuesday.”

No word from Angelina, who is rumored to be adopting Madonna's baby away from her as we type this.

Say Goodbye to Barbarella

We love Rose McGowan. We really do. Unfortunately, her steeltrap thundercat ain't as magnetic as previously thought....

As you might have heard, Barbarella is dead. After three years of divorce drama, illicit affairs, creative inertia, studio haggles and aggressive press manipulation, Robert Rodriguez yesterday pulled the plug on his long-rumored remake of the 1968 sci-fi camp classic. The film was supposed to launch his Planet Terror muse/paramour Rose McGowan — for whom Rodriguez left his wife and children in 2006 — to international superstardom, but as he announced on Tuesday, it’s his fatherly responsibilities that scuttled the $70 million project in the end.

No word from McGowan, meanwhile, who is presently working on Nip/Tuck. A masterpiece is lost, but we’ll always have the drama.

We here at Society/sex have some words for Miss Rose:

You need to power up your pussy full throttle next time if you plan on closing the deal!

Heaux up or blow up!!!

Sheryl Crow: All I Wanna Do...Is Procreate

Seven-time Tour de France winner blamed Sheryl Crow's "biological clock" for the breakup a few years ago with the rock star, according to a new book due out in July, the New York Post reported Friday.

"She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids (Luke, Grace and Bella)," Armstrong, 37, says in the book "Lance," written by John Wilcockson. "Yet we're up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it."

Armstrong and Crow became engaged two weeks before Crow's 44th birthday, in 2005, but then their relationship became "a struggle."

Duh, cougar alert!

"I felt like I wasn't ready ... I would have been in the future, but not then."

Sheryl didn't cry over the one-balled wonder for long, however.

Crow adoped a two-week-old boy in May, 2007.

Farrah Spreads Her Wings

The weekend is expected to be a somber one for friends of Farrah Fawcett. Her longtime partner Ryan O’Neal told People magazine that Fawcett “stays in bed now,” and her treatment “has pretty much ended.”

According to a friend of Fawcett’s, O’Neal’s interview also is a cue that it was acceptable to begin preparing for the inevitable.

“When Ryan spoke out like that, it was like a sign that it was OK for the goodbyes to begin,” said the friend. “We’ve all wanted to remain positive for as long as possible.”

According to the friend, Fawcett isn’t totally aware of how much the public cares about her. “She knows there’s tremendous support, but really right now is about being with her family and close friends.”

We send well wishes to Ms. Fawcett, forever an Angel.

Did They Ask Beyonce For Permission To Work?!

Destiny's Child songbirds Kelly Rowland and Michele Williams are moving forward with two major projects this year. Beyonce is preparing the hitmen as we type this...

The duo, known widely for their stint with Beyonce in the multi-Platinum selling trio Destiny's Child, have each secured shows both on and off stage, with Rowland making her debut this week.

Kelly Rowland, noted for the hit "Like This" (feat. Eve), will take on the small screen via BRAVO's new series "The Fashion Show". The series will center around several designers who are vying for a chance to have their designs placed at retail among other prizes. In other words, don't look for House of Derriere creations on this show.

Speaking on the series this week, Rowland says "I think what makes The Fashion Show so unique is that it's the people's decision and not only that but, it's a real show for real people."

And thanks to a deal with London's West End (where Beyonce has NO pull or influence), Williams will take on the role of Roxie Hart in 'Chicago'!

Williams, also known for starring in Aida a few years ago, will take the stage at the Cambridge Theatre in July, reports BV Buzz.

With the forthcoming theatre debut on tap, Williams will add to a growing resume that includes an appearance as Suge Avery in the touring production of 'The Color Purple'.

We think Beyonce would DIE if Kelly or Michelle won an Emmy or Tony before her!

Oprah Says...What Recession?

As we look at the short list, it becomes quite clear...

never get married!!!


Oprah Winfrey's net worth of $2.7 billion has again placed her atop Forbes' list of the wealthiest Black Americans, as the global recession cuts into the fortunes of others. She is the only billionaire on the list of 20 tycoons, all of whom are self-made.

Tiger Woods, worth an estimated $600 million, ranks second on the list. His career winnings exceed $80 million, but his real money is made off the course. His annual prize money represents less than 15% of his income, with sponsorship contracts from Nike, Gatorade, Gillette, Accenture, AT&T and others raking in at least $100 million each year.

Black Entertainment Television founder Robert Johnson became the first African American billionaire in 2000 after he sold the network to Viacom for $3 billion in stock and assumed debt. Since then, sagging Viacom and CBS stock, plus investments in real estate, hotels and banks--industries pummeled in the past year amid the recession--have dragged Johnson's net worth to an estimated $550 million. He ranks third on the list; while his former wife and BET co-founder, Sheila Johnson, ranks seventh with $400 million.

Damn, she got half. Write a book, Sheila. YOu are the true baller on this list!!!

Rounding out the top five are two basketball greats: Michael Jordan ($525 million) and Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Jr. ($500 million), both of whom parlayed their time on the court into lucrative endorsement and business deals in retirement.

Paris Hilton Sued For Laziness! Like, Whatever!

Paris Hilton may seem like the ultimate party skank, but she and her handlers, fluffers, etc swear she’s really a globe-trotting workaHOlic who relentlessly (butt)plugs her projects and products (sex tapes).

Defending herself against a lawsuit claiming she didn’t do enough to promote the 2006 bomb “Pledge This,” Hilton insists in a deposition in Miami federal court that she went the extra mile for the movie.


The deposition offers several other glimpses into Hilton’s life, including her preference for David Letterman because Jay Leno asks questions she (can't answer)doesn’t like. She also acknowledges she’d never seen her own cell phone bills until attorneys showed her one in an attempt to figure out who she was calling.

Asked who gets her bills, she replied, “I don’t know. I’m assuming, like, whoever pays my bills. I never ask about that stuff.”

The hotel heiress and her company, Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc., contend she honored her deal to promote the limited theatrical release of “Pledge This!” and never agreed to do as much for the DVD. They also contend the investors made unreasonable and last-minute demands for publicity events when her overflowing schedule was fully booked.

“She’s the single busiest person on the planet,” Hilton attorney Michael Weinstein said Tuesday at a hearing on pretrial motions.

Yeah, it's a busy life sucking cock on screen for green you don't even need, but some broke heiress has to do it!

In her deposition, Hilton describes doing “a huge blowout” with press at the Cannes Film Festival in 2005 in hopes of drumming up interest.

Hilton and the word 'blowout' in the same sentence?

How fitting!

Cassie Is So Assy

Bad Boy basement baroness Cassie is the latest victim of a nude photo leak but, the former "Me & U" singer is making no apologies for taking the photos.

"It seems that someone has hacked into my computer... that's real foul and evil," Cassie confirmed via Twitter after photographs of her topless hit the internet much to the surprise of fans and fellow recording artists Wednesday.

The former Ryan Leslie protege', now gearing up for the release of her anticipated sophomore effort, had already caused a stir when she shaved half of her hair off last month and made no apologies. Today, she's doing the same, telling fans via twitter:

"Now stop acting like you haven't seen a titty before!"

We here at Society/Sex are not shocked to see nude photos of Cassie. We are shocked that she had not released photos sooner. She has no vocal ability whatsoever and porn is but a hop, skip, and a pump away. Have Diddy make a phone call in your behalf FOR your halves.

Michael Jackson Is Getting Sued Every Day!!

Someone is smelling that new tour money before he even hits the stage!

Raymone K. Bain, the famous former publicist for Michael Jackson who became widely known during the singer's child molestation trial, has filed a lawsuit against the King of Pop for failing to pay her fee.

In the lawsuit, Bain is seeking $44 million from the entertainer. She claims to have overseen every aspect of Jackson's life, including arranging his housing, paying his bills, running his companies and helping to save him from foreclosure, among other things (hiding Jesus juice).

Among other things? Sounds like someone wants some hush hush money!

Pay up Mike or else it's gonna start raining diapers!!!

Grace Jones At It Again!

For those new Hollywood wannabes trying to scare the mainstream, someone who patented crazy made a comeback of sorts this weekend...

Grace Jones made a dramatic entrance worthy of her character Strange in "Boomerang" while attending H&M's yacht party last weekend at New York's South Street Seaport.

The 61-year-old, according to the New York Post, "descended onto the stage in a glass elevator and drew a shriek from the crowd after she exposed her bare backside and gave it a few firm squeezes." Observed one female partygoer, "She's still got the best legs on the planet."

And her ass ain't bad either!

A Paycheck is a Paycheck!

It's been 26 years since Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video was released, and the woman who played his love interest is just now filing a lawsuit claiming she hasn't been paid her share of royalties.

And judging by these pics, she could get some extra work on any future Planet Of The Apes movies!

TMZ.com reports that Ola Ray is suing Jackson and his production company to receive her cut of profits from the groundbreaking 13 minute clip, in which her character watches her boyfriend (Jackson) turn into a dancing zombie.

"We spoke to Ola Ray's attorney, who tells us the former Playboy Playmate is suing for breach of contract," TMZ stated. "We're told Ola's not sure exactly how much she's owed -- her accountants will figure that out."

We here at Society/Sex think Ola needs to get a new lawyer. It's been almost three decades, hometrick! He's moved on from new noses to three children and no Neverland.

Get a clue, ho!

Lil Kim Booted. Who Will Trannies Cheer For Now?!

Something is not right in the universe today. And it could be because Kimberly Jones a/k/a Lil Kim, the curvaceous, hip wriggling, pint-sized rapper known the world over has been .... eliminated from "Dancing With The Stars!"

Even though she consistently scored high marks throughout the competition, she got the boot last night.

"This is one of the greatest experiences I've ever experienced in my life," she said, adding that she expanded the hit show's viewership, "because I brought people who never watched the show."

Like people in the penitentiary.

New England: Where The Gays Are!

Now Ryan Seacrest can do a full gay tour and never have to worry about a marriage license!

Maine's governor signed a freshly passed bill Wednesday approving gay marriage, making it the fifth state to approve the practice and moving New England closer to allowing it throughout the region.

New Hampshire legislators were also poised to send a gay marriage bill to their governor, who hasn't indicated whether he'll sign it. If he does, Rhode Island would be the region's sole holdout.

As if two lesbian asses could fit within the state of Rhode Island anyway!

Kelis & Nas: Something In The Milk Ain't Clean

Reps for Kelis have confirmed that the singer has filed for divorce from her husband Nas, despite being seven months pregnant with their first child.


According to reports, Kelis filed papers on Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court citing irreconcilable differences. She is asking for spousal and child support, according to TMZ.

Nas was set up! the first family of hip-hop is going solo soon a Kelis will be set to keep her checks a-coming with alimony for the next twenty or so years. I guess she IS the boss.


Nas, 35, and Kelis, 29, met in 2002 at an MTV Video Music Awards after-party hosted by Diddy and were married in 2005 in Atlanta.

Madonna In Search of New Blood, Er, Children

The Material Girl is not going to stop until she has a new black child in her veiny hands!!!!

Madonna's appeal to adopt 3-year-old Merci Chifundo James from Malawi will be heard by a three-judge panel lead by the African country's head of the judiciary.

Chief Justice Lovemore Munlo and two other judges will hear the case on May 4. "Since this involves an infant it will be heard in chambers," High Court and Supreme Court of Appeal spokesman Joseph Chigona told People.com. "This is an important case; that's why the chief justice himself has taken special interest."

Madonna, 50, is not required to attend the hearing although she may if she wishes. Her appeal follows High Court Judge Esme Chombo's dismissal of the singer's application to adopt James on the premise the entertainer does not have a permanent residence in Malawi. Madonna, who last year successfully completed her adoption of another Malawian toddler, David Banda, also 3, has visited Malawi three times.